Homethis is so funny...i like it. . .
i want more
i want more
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olla86
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krispen
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Jaisus
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Mew
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D@shie
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31 posters
Joke Time!
julliancloud- Pchy's Lover
- Number of posts : 1602
Age : 34
Location : negros occidental, philippines
Registration date : 2009-04-20
D@shie- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 8586
Age : 37
Location : Δωδεκάθεον
Registration date : 2009-01-01
Para maiba naman...
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
D@shie- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 8586
Age : 37
Location : Δωδεκάθεον
Registration date : 2009-01-01
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Guilty as charged...
D@shie- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 8586
Age : 37
Location : Δωδεκάθεον
Registration date : 2009-01-01
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being pay-day, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check.
When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him
"How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?
To which he replied. "That would be fine with me.
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Go Gurl!
D@shie- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 8586
Age : 37
Location : Δωδεκάθεον
Registration date : 2009-01-01
Just before thanksgiving Jim and Eddie are out hunting for turkeys when Jim keel's over and collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. Eddie gets out his cell phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, 'My friend Jim is dead! What can I do?' The operator says, 'Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.' There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the Eddie says, 'OK, now what?'
zydrelle- Certified Pchyholic
- Number of posts : 947
Age : 32
Location : quezon city, Philippines
Registration date : 2009-09-29
D@shie wrote:
Just before thanksgiving Jim and Eddie are out hunting for turkeys when Jim keel's over and collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. Eddie gets out his cell phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, 'My friend Jim is dead! What can I do?' The operator says, 'Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.' There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the Eddie says, 'OK, now what?'
more..more...demanding much?!
chanrakter- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 6540
Age : 36
Location : Somewhere over the rainbow!
Registration date : 2009-03-23
D@shie wrote:
Just before thanksgiving Jim and Eddie are out hunting for turkeys when Jim keel's over and collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. Eddie gets out his cell phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, 'My friend Jim is dead! What can I do?' The operator says, 'Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.' There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the Eddie says, 'OK, now what?'
Hahahaha! Nice!
krispen- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 5851
Location : Philippines
Registration date : 2009-01-02
D@shie wrote:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Guilty as charged...
kalokohan!
krispen- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 5851
Location : Philippines
Registration date : 2009-01-02
D@shie wrote:
Just before thanksgiving Jim and Eddie are out hunting for turkeys when Jim keel's over and collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. Eddie gets out his cell phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, 'My friend Jim is dead! What can I do?' The operator says, 'Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.' There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the Eddie says, 'OK, now what?'
eddie happens to be blond, right?
julliancloud- Pchy's Lover
- Number of posts : 1602
Age : 34
Location : negros occidental, philippines
Registration date : 2009-04-20
hahhaa. . .he just killed it. . .
D@shie- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 8586
Age : 37
Location : Δωδεκάθεον
Registration date : 2009-01-01
krispen wrote:D@shie wrote:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Guilty as charged...
kalokohan!
Aba sumadagot ka pa...
D@shie- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 8586
Age : 37
Location : Δωδεκάθεον
Registration date : 2009-01-01
A blonde man showed up at work one day with a black eye. When his co- workers saw him they asked him what had happened. He told them it had happened at church. They didn't believe him, and wanted to know what really happened.
So he told them, "I went to the church. I got on my knees and prayed. When I stood up to sing the hymns, there in front of me was the biggest woman I had ever seen. Her dress was stuck in her butt-crack, so being the gentleman I am, I reached over and pulled it out for her. She did not like that, so she hit me." The guys laughed and ribbed him about it all day.
The next week he showed up to work and his face was beaten really badly! Again the guys asked him what had happened and he told them he'd got beaten up at church. Again they didn't believe him, so he explained, "I went to the church. I got on my knees and prayed. When I stood up to sing the hymns, there in front of me was that same big woman with her dress again stuck up her butt-crack."
At this point the other men interrupted and said, "Please tell us you didn't pull her dress out of her crack again?"
"No, the guy standing beside me did, and I knew she didn't like that, so I shoved it back in."
D@shie- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 8586
Age : 37
Location : Δωδεκάθεον
Registration date : 2009-01-01
A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!"
The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and give it a try!" The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator.
Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots that same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp.
Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs.
The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out,
"SHOOT... THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO!"
D@shie- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 8586
Age : 37
Location : Δωδεκάθεον
Registration date : 2009-01-01
This blonde really wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.
Suddenly---from the sky---a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, even louder: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"
The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!"
D@shie- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 8586
Age : 37
Location : Δωδεκάθεον
Registration date : 2009-01-01
At a girl's college dormitory, dates were permitted only on Saturday night. One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, explaining to an older woman in the lobby of the dorm that it was imperative he see a certain young lady immediately.
"I want to surprise her. You see, I'm her brother."
"Oh, she'll be surprised all right," said the woman.
"But think of how surprised I am! I'm her mother!"
D@shie- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 8586
Age : 37
Location : Δωδεκάθεον
Registration date : 2009-01-01
Two buddies are fishing, but they haven't caught anything all day. Then, another fisherman walks by with a huge load of fish.
They ask him, "Excuse me, but where did you get all those fish?"
The other fisherman replies, "If you just go down the stream until the water isn't salty, there are a ton of hungry fish."
They thank him and go on their way. 15 minutes later, one fisherman says to the other, "Fill the bucket up with water and see if the water is salty."
He dips the bucket in the stream and drinks some. "Nope. Still salty."
30 minutes later, he asks him to check again. "Nope, still salty."
One hour later they check again. "Nope. Still salty."
"This isn't good," the fisherman finally says. "We have been walking for almost two hours and the water is still salty."
"I know," says the other. "And the bucket is almost empty."
julliancloud- Pchy's Lover
- Number of posts : 1602
Age : 34
Location : negros occidental, philippines
Registration date : 2009-04-20
the best joke ever... 
....more more more
....more more more
zydrelle- Certified Pchyholic
- Number of posts : 947
Age : 32
Location : quezon city, Philippines
Registration date : 2009-09-29
D@shie wrote:
At a girl's college dormitory, dates were permitted only on Saturday night. One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, explaining to an older woman in the lobby of the dorm that it was imperative he see a certain young lady immediately.
"I want to surprise her. You see, I'm her brother."
"Oh, she'll be surprised all right," said the woman.
"But think of how surprised I am! I'm her mother!"
zydrelle- Certified Pchyholic
- Number of posts : 947
Age : 32
Location : quezon city, Philippines
Registration date : 2009-09-29
D@shie wrote:
At a girl's college dormitory, dates were permitted only on Saturday night. One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, explaining to an older woman in the lobby of the dorm that it was imperative he see a certain young lady immediately.
"I want to surprise her. You see, I'm her brother."
"Oh, she'll be surprised all right," said the woman.
"But think of how surprised I am! I'm her mother!"
julliancloud- Pchy's Lover
- Number of posts : 1602
Age : 34
Location : negros occidental, philippines
Registration date : 2009-04-20
yeah
D@shie- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 8586
Age : 37
Location : Δωδεκάθεον
Registration date : 2009-01-01
Sure will try and look for more...
julliancloud- Pchy's Lover
- Number of posts : 1602
Age : 34
Location : negros occidental, philippines
Registration date : 2009-04-20
go dashie
D@shie- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 8586
Age : 37
Location : Δωδεκάθεον
Registration date : 2009-01-01
A group of young women decided to arrange for a camp with their mothers-in-law to hopefully get to know and understand each other better seeing relations between them were very sour.
Two buses were hired, one for the mothers-in-law and the other for the daughters-in-law.
Unfortunately the bus with the mothers-in-law was involved in an accident and all the passengers died on the spot.
The daughters in law (women being women) shed a few tears but they were all puzzled by one sister who wailed uncontrollably for what they perceived to be her loss.
Her friend asked her, "Forgive me for asking but why are you crying so hard, I didn't realize you were so close to your mother-in-law? "
To which she replied, "No we are not close at all, she missed the bus!"
Two buses were hired, one for the mothers-in-law and the other for the daughters-in-law.
Unfortunately the bus with the mothers-in-law was involved in an accident and all the passengers died on the spot.
The daughters in law (women being women) shed a few tears but they were all puzzled by one sister who wailed uncontrollably for what they perceived to be her loss.
Her friend asked her, "Forgive me for asking but why are you crying so hard, I didn't realize you were so close to your mother-in-law? "
To which she replied, "No we are not close at all, she missed the bus!"
D@shie- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 8586
Age : 37
Location : Δωδεκάθεον
Registration date : 2009-01-01
One day there were three nuns standing outside the gates of heaven waiting to enter.
St. Peter approached them and asked the first nun, "Do you know who the first man was on earth?"
She said, "Ummm that's tough... Adam?"
Bells rang, Angels sang, The gates opened, and she walked in.
Then St. Peter went to the second nun and asked, "Do you know who the first woman was on earth?"
She said, "Ummmm... Eve?"
Bells rang, Angels sang, The gates opened, and she walked in.
St. Peter then asked the third and last nun, "What were the first words Eve said to Adam?"
The third nun said, "Hmmmm, that's a hard one."
Bells rang, Angels sang, The gates opened, and she walked right in.
D@shie- Honorary Pchynatic
- Number of posts : 8586
Age : 37
Location : Δωδεκάθεον
Registration date : 2009-01-01
The Policeman had stopped the man for obvious drunken driving, but since the guy had a clean record, he made him park the car and took him home in the patrol car.
"Are you sure this is your house?" the cop asked as they drove into a rather fashionable neighborhood.
"Shertainly! " said the drunk, "and if you'll just open the door f'me, I can prove it to ya."
The police officer followed the man as he shakily negotiated the stairs to the second floor.
The drunk pushed open the first door they came to.
"Thish ish my bedroom," he announced. "Shee the bed there? Thast mine! Shee that woman lying in the bed? Thash my wife. An' see that guy lying next to her?
"Yeah?" the cop replied suspiciously. Beginning at this point to seriously doubt the man's story.
"Well, thash me!"
"Are you sure this is your house?" the cop asked as they drove into a rather fashionable neighborhood.
"Shertainly! " said the drunk, "and if you'll just open the door f'me, I can prove it to ya."
The police officer followed the man as he shakily negotiated the stairs to the second floor.
The drunk pushed open the first door they came to.
"Thish ish my bedroom," he announced. "Shee the bed there? Thast mine! Shee that woman lying in the bed? Thash my wife. An' see that guy lying next to her?
"Yeah?" the cop replied suspiciously. Beginning at this point to seriously doubt the man's story.
"Well, thash me!"
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