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    Joke Time!

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    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on March 13th 2009, 4:38 pm

    Salamat naman at nagustuhan nyo... hanap lang ako... Wink


    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on March 13th 2009, 5:16 pm

    Two sisters were driving one afternoon in a Volkswagen to a faraway province. Night came and they found themselves in a deserted stretch of road. A cargo truck blocked the road. When they stopped, three armed men sprang and ordered them to alight.


    "This is a holdup!", announced one. "Hand over your jewelry, watches, as well as your purses."



    "I'm sorry to dissapoint you," said the elder sister. "But I don't wear jewelry. I have my purse and my handbag, though.."


    "I'm also sorry," remarked the younger sister. "I left my jewelry at home. But here's my handbag."


    The thieves cursed at their bad luck. So, they asked for the Voldwagen, as well as for the sisters to strip naked. Then off the robbers went.


    The sisters sighed in relief.


    "Sis, I noticed you were wearing your bejeweled watch and diamond ring when we left earlier," said the elder sister.


    "Why, of course," she replied, "I inserted them there," pointing to her vagina. "How about you?"


    "I guess we had the same idea," she answered, spearding her legs and extracting the jewelry and purse from her vault.


    "You know, sis, if mama were only here, we could have saved the Volkswagen!"


    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    Mew
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    Registration date : 2009-02-02

    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 14th 2009, 2:42 am

    A friend told another friend,

    "Naku, magma-makeup
    muna ako, baka magmukha akong yaya mo."

    The other friend replied,
    Spoiler:

    "Wag
    na, magmumukha ka lang yaya ko na naka-makeup.
    "

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 14th 2009, 2:42 am

    "Ako, I was born beautiful. Ikaw, you were just born."

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 14th 2009, 2:47 am

    (this one is real... i was talking to a bitchy friend... i was trying to pull a punch line... bumaliktad, hehe)

    Mew: Walang pasok bukas! Yehey!

    Bitchy Friend: Damn it!

    Mew: Bakit?

    Bitchy Friend: Sana the next day na lang. My car is coding.

    Mew: Ano ba yan, not every holiday is about you!

    Spoiler:
    Bitchy Friend: Sorry, I always forget.

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 14th 2009, 2:48 am

    Kid 1: "Lahat tayo galing kay Adam and Eve."

    Kid 2: "Hindi yan totoo. Sabi ng papa ko, galing tayo sa unggoy."

    Spoiler:
    Kid 1: "Hindi natin pinag-uusapn ang pamilya mo, kaya wag kang magulo!"

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 14th 2009, 2:49 am

    A friend once told me, "Ang ganda mo!" I answered:

    Spoiler:
    "Thank you, sana ikaw rin…"

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 14th 2009, 2:51 am

    I once told an officemate who kept on bragging about her new shoes,

    Spoiler:
    "Sale, right?"

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 14th 2009, 2:53 am

    I was a cashier in some supermarket when I had this customer. I pointed a "7 items or less" sign to a clueless pasosyal at the supermarket. She bitchily answered,

    "I can read!"

    Sabay irap. So I shot back with,

    Spoiler:
    "I know, but can you count?"

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 14th 2009, 2:53 am

    Man: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"

    Spoiler:
    Woman: "Do not enter."

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 14th 2009, 2:56 am

    A friend once told me, "Ang ganda mo!"

    I answered,

    Spoiler:
    "Thank you, sana ikaw rin…"

    nonez
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by nonez on March 14th 2009, 12:56 pm

    mew huh///
    so funny your jokes

    love it!!!

    peech
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by peech on March 14th 2009, 1:01 pm

    hahahah!! kaloka ung bitchy friend ha!!

    nonez
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by nonez on March 14th 2009, 1:04 pm

    dashie l
    like ko rin ang joke mo about sa classmate niyang intsik natawa ako at naawa heheh

    winner
    winner
    winner!!!

    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on March 14th 2009, 7:10 pm

    Salamat that you like the jokes... Razz


    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
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    Number of posts : 8586
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    Registration date : 2009-01-01

    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on March 14th 2009, 7:32 pm

    A boy wanted to skip kindergarten so he could join the third graders. His teacher, shocked,took him to the principal's office. The teacher and the principal decided to ask the boy a couple of question as a test.

    "What is 3 x 3?" the principal asks. "9", the boy answers. "What is 6 x 6?", the principal asks again. "36", the boys answers.

    The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think he can go to the third-grade".

    "Wait, let me ask him some more questions," the teacher insist. The principal agrees.

    "What starts with a C and ends up with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains whitish liquid?", the teacher asks.

    The principal's eyes opened wide in horror.

    "Coconut", the boys answers.

    "What goes in hards and pink then comes soft and sticky?", the teacher continues.

    The princial can't believe his ears.


    "Bubblegum", the boys replies.


    "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do," the teacher goes on.

    "Tent", the boys answers.

    "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."

    "Arrow", the boys replies.

    "Damn, put him in sixth grade," the principal interrupts. "I got all your questions wrong myself."


    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    javamince
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by javamince on March 14th 2009, 9:05 pm

    Hahaha, laughtrip ung jokes! Keep them coming!

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 15th 2009, 2:28 pm

    nonez wrote:mew huh///
    so funny your jokes

    love it!!!

    peech wrote:hahahah!! kaloka ung bitchy friend ha!!

    thanks! after 10 minutes nung sinabi nya yun, saka lang namin narealize na nakakatawa ang pinag-usapan namin. lol!

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 15th 2009, 2:29 pm

    GIRL 1: bagay ka maging artista

    GIRL 2: "anong role?"

    Spoiler:
    GIRL 1: "betty la fea"

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 15th 2009, 2:30 pm

    May isang bading at isang tunay na lalake:

    Lalake: Ewan ko ba bakit ka nagbabra wala namang ilalaman sa loob ng bra!!

    Spoiler:
    Bading: Bakit, di ba ikaw naman ay nakabrief, ano naman ang ilalaman sa loob nun??

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 15th 2009, 2:31 pm

    classmate: pasensya na tao lang

    Spoiler:
    ako: sino naman nag-tsismis sayo na tao ka?

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 15th 2009, 2:32 pm

    May umiiyak na babae, nagbreak sila ng jowa nya.

    Sabi nung friend niya: ganyan sila sis, lahat ng lalake pare-pareho. Meron bang lalakeng hindi nambababae?

    Spoiler:
    Ako: MERON, bakla.

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 15th 2009, 2:34 pm

    Miss : "Sorry ah, napagkamalan kitang bastos.."

    Spoiler:
    Guy : "Okay lang, napagkamalan din kitang maganda eh"

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 15th 2009, 2:34 pm

    Two doctors had sex after meeting at a party and getting too drunk to even allow time for themselves to get a bit more acquainted.

    So after the sex, si female doctor, dumirecho agad sa banyo at nag-shower, when she got out...

    Male doctor: Siguro surgeon ka `no?

    Female doctor: How do you know?

    Male doctor: Kasi you seem to be obsessed with hygiene.

    Female doctor: Eh, ikaw naman siguro anesthesiologist.

    Male doctor: Yeah, how do you know?

    Female doctor: `Coz I didn't feel a thing.

    Mew
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Mew on March 15th 2009, 2:35 pm

    girl1: Kapag talaga hindi kagandahan nung baby, kapag tumanda, maganda ano?

    girl2: honga...

    Spoiler:
    me: sooooo anong nangyari sa inyo?

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