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    Joke Time!

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    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on March 28th 2010, 7:15 pm

    duplex wrote:
    D@shie wrote:

    So now, would it be my fault that you didnt get the joke?


    yea, it is absolutely your fault or it just mean that you are not good at telling jokes! tongue LOL


    Its actually no one else's fault but yours...


    Last edited by D@shie on March 29th 2010, 11:38 am; edited 1 time in total


    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    99thornlessredroses
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by 99thornlessredroses on March 28th 2010, 10:06 pm

    D@shie wrote:
    duplex wrote:
    D@shie wrote:

    So now, would it be my fault that you didnt get the joke?


    yea, it is absolutely your fault or it just mean that you are not good at telling jokes! tongue LOL


    Its actually no one else's fault but yours...

    i agree! hahaha! i smell an alliance forming. Razz

    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 1st 2010, 8:34 pm


    Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
    A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
    "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."



    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 1st 2010, 8:35 pm


    A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, “Lord, grant me one wish.”

    Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

    The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to.”

    The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, one that would honor and glorify me.”

    The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent
    treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say ‘nothing’, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”

    After a few minutes God said, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?”



    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 1st 2010, 8:36 pm


    An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and walked out with 19 Dollars. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and but was handed only 18 Dollars.

    He asked the teller why he got less money than he got last week. The teller said, "Fluctuations."

    The Asian man stormed out, but just before slamming the door, he turned around and said, "Fluc you Amelicans too!"



    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    99thornlessredroses
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by 99thornlessredroses on April 2nd 2010, 1:38 am

    D@shie wrote:

    A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, “Lord, grant me one wish.”

    Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

    The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to.”

    The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, one that would honor and glorify me.”

    The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent
    treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say ‘nothing’, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”

    After a few minutes God said, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?”


    hahaha! this one cracked me up! nice one D@shie! where do you get these jokes?

    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 2nd 2010, 3:55 am


    On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
    The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"
    "That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."
    After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"


    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 2nd 2010, 3:56 am


    A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
    Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."
    So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
    The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"


    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 2nd 2010, 3:59 am


    A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
    "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
    The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"
    The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders she would need were in the garage.
    The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
    The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
    A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
    "You're finished already?" he asked.
    "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
    Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."


    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    atebugs
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    Number of posts : 1225
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    Registration date : 2009-01-01

    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by atebugs on April 2nd 2010, 12:14 pm

    D@shie wrote:

    An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and walked out with 19 Dollars. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and but was handed only 18 Dollars.

    He asked the teller why he got less money than he got last week. The teller said, "Fluctuations."

    The Asian man stormed out, but just before slamming the door, he turned around and said, "Fluc you Amelicans too!"


    sounds like duplex.. XD hahahaha!


    _________________

    atebugs
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by atebugs on April 2nd 2010, 12:15 pm

    @dashie blonde jokes makes me wanna go blonde! hahahaha!


    _________________

    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 2nd 2010, 2:07 pm

    atebugs wrote:
    D@shie wrote:

    An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and walked out with 19 Dollars. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and but was handed only 18 Dollars.

    He asked the teller why he got less money than he got last week. The teller said, "Fluctuations."

    The Asian man stormed out, but just before slamming the door, he turned around and said, "Fluc you Amelicans too!"



    sounds like duplex.. XD hahahaha!


    Hmmm... makes me wonder...


    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 2nd 2010, 2:14 pm

    atebugs wrote:@dashie blonde jokes makes me wanna go blonde! hahahaha!


    So what? You have an excuse for being stupid? Joke! Wahahaha... lol!


    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 3rd 2010, 12:13 am


    A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.

    She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him!"

    "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."

    "No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about how much I spent on it."

    "Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."

    "No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket."

    "Airplane ticket? What did you need an airplane ticket for?"

    "Well mother, when I went to cook it, I read the directions on the back and they said, "PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE," so I had to fly Alaska."



    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
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    Number of posts : 8586
    Age : 29
    Location : Δωδεκάθεον
    Registration date : 2009-01-01

    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 3rd 2010, 12:15 am


    A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said,

    "Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us."

    So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down.

    The next morning, the cops said, "Come out with your hands in the air!"

    The red-head said, "Hide in those baskets, they'll never find us!"

    So the Brunette got in the first one, the red-head got in the second one and the blonde got in the third one. Meanwhile, the cops were getting a ladder set up and trying to get up there. Once they got up, the seargent ordered them to kick the baskets.

    So the cop kicked the first one: "RUFF."
    "It's just a damn dog!" yelled the cop.
    The cop kicked the next one: "MEOW."
    "It's just a damn cat," yelled the cop.
    The cop kicked the next basket and the blonde yelled, "POTATOES!"



    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 3rd 2010, 12:16 am


    A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his mid- twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age.

    The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment - a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

    The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.

    The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them, and then rests his head at her feet.

    The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He remarks, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?"

    "No problem," replies the young man, "just get that lion out of the way."



    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 3rd 2010, 12:26 am


    An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

    The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

    The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"



    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
    Honorary Pchynatic
    Honorary Pchynatic

    Number of posts : 8586
    Age : 29
    Location : Δωδεκάθεον
    Registration date : 2009-01-01

    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 3rd 2010, 12:30 am


    President Barrack Obama and Secretary of Defense Robert Michael Gates are sitting in a bar.

    A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Obama and Gates sitting over there?"

    The barman says, "Yep, that's them."

    So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"

    Obama says, "We're planning WW III."

    And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

    Obama says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits."

    The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits?" "Why kill a blonde with big tits?"

    Obama turns to Gates and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"



    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    duplex
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    Age : 18
    Location : my mommy say USA
    Registration date : 2009-07-19

    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by duplex on April 3rd 2010, 12:39 am

    99thornlessredroses wrote:
    D@shie wrote:
    duplex wrote:
    D@shie wrote:

    So now, would it be my fault that you didnt get the joke?


    yea, it is absolutely your fault or it just mean that you are not good at telling jokes! tongue LOL


    Its actually no one else's fault but yours...

    i agree! hahaha! i smell an alliance forming. Razz

    not fair! Evil or Very Mad

    duplex
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    Age : 18
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by duplex on April 3rd 2010, 12:40 am

    D@shie wrote:
    atebugs wrote:
    D@shie wrote:

    An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and walked out with 19 Dollars. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and but was handed only 18 Dollars.

    He asked the teller why he got less money than he got last week. The teller said, "Fluctuations."

    The Asian man stormed out, but just before slamming the door, he turned around and said, "Fluc you Amelicans too!"



    sounds like duplex.. XD hahahaha!


    Hmmm... makes me wonder...

    how does that sound like me? Shocked

    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 3rd 2010, 12:59 am

    duplex wrote:
    99thornlessredroses wrote:
    D@shie wrote:
    duplex wrote:
    D@shie wrote:

    So now, would it be my fault that you didnt get the joke?


    yea, it is absolutely your fault or it just mean that you are not good at telling jokes! tongue LOL


    Its actually no one else's fault but yours...


    i agree! hahaha! i smell an alliance forming. Razz

    not fair! Evil or Very Mad


    Go ahead and look for someone to help you!


    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
    Honorary Pchynatic
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    Number of posts : 8586
    Age : 29
    Location : Δωδεκάθεον
    Registration date : 2009-01-01

    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 3rd 2010, 1:00 am

    duplex wrote:
    D@shie wrote:
    atebugs wrote:
    D@shie wrote:

    An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and walked out with 19 Dollars. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and but was handed only 18 Dollars.

    He asked the teller why he got less money than he got last week. The teller said, "Fluctuations."

    The Asian man stormed out, but just before slamming the door, he turned around and said, "Fluc you Amelicans too!"



    sounds like duplex.. XD hahahaha!


    Hmmm... makes me wonder...


    how does that sound like me? Shocked


    Actually, I'm wonder what would you sound if you said this...


    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    atebugs
    Pchy's Lover
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    Number of posts : 1225
    Age : 27
    Location : Under the sea
    Registration date : 2009-01-01

    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by atebugs on April 3rd 2010, 5:41 pm

    duplex wrote:
    D@shie wrote:

    A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital donation center.
    Man: 'What are you doing here today?'
    Woman: 'Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me 200 bucks for it.'
    Man: 'Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me 1000 bucks.'
    The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the same line.
    Man: 'Hi there! Here to donate blood again?'
    Woman: (shaking her head with mouth closed) 'Unh unh.'


    I don't get it Question

    Hahaha.. you should have asked me.. haha!

    Spoiler:
    Since the cost of sperm is much higher than the blood, when the two met again, instead of donating blood.. the woman filled her mouth with cum.. thats why she couldn't speak.. hahaha!


    Last edited by atebugs on April 3rd 2010, 5:44 pm; edited 1 time in total


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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by atebugs on April 3rd 2010, 5:42 pm

    D@shie wrote:
    atebugs wrote:@dashie blonde jokes makes me wanna go blonde! hahahaha!


    So what? You have an excuse for being stupid? Joke! Wahahaha... lol!

    Hahahaha.. Yeah!


    _________________

    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on April 3rd 2010, 5:49 pm

    atebugs wrote:
    duplex wrote:
    D@shie wrote:

    A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital donation center.
    Man: 'What are you doing here today?'
    Woman: 'Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me 200 bucks for it.'
    Man: 'Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me 1000 bucks.'
    The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the same line.
    Man: 'Hi there! Here to donate blood again?'
    Woman: (shaking her head with mouth closed) 'Unh unh.'



    I don't get it Question

    Hahaha.. you should have asked me.. haha!

    Spoiler:
    Since the cost of sperm is much higher than the blood, when the two met again, instead of donating blood.. the woman filled her mouth with cum.. thats why she couldn't speak.. hahaha!


    That's a mouth-full... and I mean that literally!


    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




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    Re: Joke Time!

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