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    Joke Time!

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    julipych
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by julipych on November 24th 2009, 6:07 pm

    olla86 wrote:LOL!! I have this one:
    Before marriage:
    She : Hi
    He : Oh, I've been waiting this ...
    She : You want me to go ?
    He : no, Not at all
    She : do you love me ?
    He : of course, big time
    She : you picked the wrong woman ??
    He : no, why do you say that ?
    She : you wanna kiss me ?
    He : every time I see you !!
    She : you wanna slap me ??
    He : are you crazy ? never
    She : can I trust you ?
    He : yes
    She : My love
    ...
    after marriage
    Read the same text upwards ...

    Funny! makes sense, though! haha

    Jaisus
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Jaisus on November 28th 2009, 8:11 pm

    olla86 wrote:LOL!! I have this one:
    Before marriage:
    She : Hi
    He : Oh, I've been waiting this ...
    She : You want me to go ?
    He : no, Not at all
    She : do you love me ?
    He : of course, big time
    She : you picked the wrong woman ??
    He : no, why do you say that ?
    She : you wanna kiss me ?
    He : every time I see you !!
    She : you wanna slap me ??
    He : are you crazy ? never
    She : can I trust you ?
    He : yes
    She : My love
    ...
    after marriage
    Read the same text upwards ...

    _____________________
    Life is a flower of which glitter graphics is the honey.


    nice.. haha

    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on November 29th 2009, 6:24 am


    An African leader makes an official trip to Russia .
    At the end of the trip, the Russian leader tells the African that in Russia they have a custom performed at farewells called "Russian Roulette" to demonstrate one's courage.
    The Russian whips out a revolver, loads one chamber, gives the cylinder spin, puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger.
    - CLICK - empty chamber.
    He hands the revolver to his African guest, and says, "Your turn."
    Not to be outdone, the African repeats the ritual - CLICK - empty.
    The next year, the Russian visits the African country.
    At the end of the trip, the African tells his Russian peer that he was very impressed with "Russian Roulette" and that he has spent the last year devising an African ritual to demonstrate one's courage.
    The African then disappears through a door only to reappear a few moments later smiling, and says, "Your turn."
    The African escorts the Russian through the door.
    In the room are six of the most beautiful, naked women he has ever seen.
    The African explains that he is to choose one of the women, who will perform oral sex on him.
    Absolutely dumbfounded, the Russian asks, "What kind of test of courage is this?"
    The African calmly answers, "One of them is a cannibal."



    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    krispen
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by krispen on November 29th 2009, 10:31 pm

    ^ yikes! haha haha

    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on December 7th 2009, 3:15 am


    Maria a beautiful Latina fell in love with Jose. She planned to marry very soon. She was so happy about her wedding plans, she decided to tell her papa.
    Papa told her, "Maria, you'll have to find another. Your Madre does not know this, but Jose is your half-brother" .
    So Maria forgot about her Jose, and soon planned to marry Ricardo.
    After telling Papa again, he said, "Maria, there's trouble still. You cannot marry Ricardo. Please don't tell your mother, but Ricardo and Jose are your half-brothers. "
    Maria had no choice but to go to her mama.
    Mama already knew and said "Maria, do what makes you happy. Marry Ricardo or marry Jose, because you are not related to Papa.



    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    zydrelle
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by zydrelle on December 7th 2009, 11:44 am

    parang may kapareho tong kanta..hmmm....

    duplex
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by duplex on January 5th 2010, 8:32 am

    what do you call the nose of a deer?

    I have nose I deer Shocked

    krispen
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by krispen on January 6th 2010, 1:48 pm

    sabi ng isang contestant sa isang gay pageant: "Hindi man ako ang nanay mo at hindi ako ang ate mo, malamang ako ang tatay mo." haha

    duplex
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by duplex on January 9th 2010, 12:13 pm

    Guy: I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
    Girl: Sorry, you're my asymptote.

    Renka08
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by Renka08 on January 11th 2010, 3:06 pm

    May joke ako.




    Joke lang!








    This one is very korrrni but I find it very ridiculous especially when delivered right. Very Happy

    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on March 21st 2010, 10:57 am


    A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital donation center.
    Man: 'What are you doing here today?'
    Woman: 'Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me 200 bucks for it.'
    Man: 'Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me 1000 bucks.'
    The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the same line.
    Man: 'Hi there! Here to donate blood again?'
    Woman: (shaking her head with mouth closed) 'Unh unh.'



    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    duplex
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by duplex on March 22nd 2010, 10:12 pm

    D@shie wrote:

    A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital donation center.
    Man: 'What are you doing here today?'
    Woman: 'Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me 200 bucks for it.'
    Man: 'Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me 1000 bucks.'
    The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the same line.
    Man: 'Hi there! Here to donate blood again?'
    Woman: (shaking her head with mouth closed) 'Unh unh.'


    I don't get it Question

    99thornlessredroses
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by 99thornlessredroses on March 23rd 2010, 12:20 pm

    duplex wrote:
    D@shie wrote:

    A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital donation center.
    Man: 'What are you doing here today?'
    Woman: 'Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me 200 bucks for it.'
    Man: 'Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me 1000 bucks.'
    The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the same line.
    Man: 'Hi there! Here to donate blood again?'
    Woman: (shaking her head with mouth closed) 'Unh unh.'


    I don't get it Question

    the joke is kind of green. so i'm sure you know it. haha just kiddin'!

    duplex
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by duplex on March 23rd 2010, 9:35 pm

    99thornlessredroses wrote:
    duplex wrote:
    D@shie wrote:

    A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital donation center.
    Man: 'What are you doing here today?'
    Woman: 'Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me 200 bucks for it.'
    Man: 'Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me 1000 bucks.'
    The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the same line.
    Man: 'Hi there! Here to donate blood again?'
    Woman: (shaking her head with mouth closed) 'Unh unh.'


    I don't get it Question

    the joke is kind of green. so i'm sure you know it. haha just kiddin'!

    nah, I honestly dont get it.

    99thornlessredroses
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by 99thornlessredroses on March 24th 2010, 1:29 pm

    duplex wrote:
    99thornlessredroses wrote:
    duplex wrote:
    D@shie wrote:

    A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital donation center.
    Man: 'What are you doing here today?'
    Woman: 'Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me 200 bucks for it.'
    Man: 'Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me 1000 bucks.'
    The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the same line.
    Man: 'Hi there! Here to donate blood again?'
    Woman: (shaking her head with mouth closed) 'Unh unh.'


    I don't get it Question

    the joke is kind of green. so i'm sure you know it. haha just kiddin'!

    nah, I honestly dont get it.

    i'll let maturity do its job on you so that you'll get the meaning by yourself. Razz

    duplex
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by duplex on March 24th 2010, 10:29 pm

    99thornlessredroses wrote:
    i'll let maturity do its job on you so that you'll get the meaning by yourself. Razz

    what happen if I am mature at that time and still dont get it? I probably wont have anyone to tell it to me, so why dont you just tell me already tongue

    99thornlessredroses
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by 99thornlessredroses on March 24th 2010, 11:25 pm

    duplex wrote:
    99thornlessredroses wrote:
    i'll let maturity do its job on you so that you'll get the meaning by yourself. Razz

    what happen if I am mature at that time and still dont get it? I probably wont have anyone to tell it to me, so why dont you just tell me already tongue

    i'm pretty sure you'll get it since you live in the US. Razz

    duplex
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by duplex on March 25th 2010, 12:19 am

    99thornlessredroses wrote:
    duplex wrote:
    99thornlessredroses wrote:
    i'll let maturity do its job on you so that you'll get the meaning by yourself. Razz

    what happen if I am mature at that time and still dont get it? I probably wont have anyone to tell it to me, so why dont you just tell me already tongue

    i'm pretty sure you'll get it since you live in the US. Razz

    and what does that suppose to mean? Shocked

    99thornlessredroses
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by 99thornlessredroses on March 25th 2010, 7:04 pm

    duplex wrote:
    99thornlessredroses wrote:
    duplex wrote:
    99thornlessredroses wrote:
    i'll let maturity do its job on you so that you'll get the meaning by yourself. Razz

    what happen if I am mature at that time and still dont get it? I probably wont have anyone to tell it to me, so why dont you just tell me already tongue

    i'm pretty sure you'll get it since you live in the US. Razz

    and what does that suppose to mean? Shocked

    people in the US mature faster than people in the Philippines when it comes to green jokes! hahaha! XD

    duplex
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by duplex on March 26th 2010, 7:27 am

    99thornlessredroses wrote:
    duplex wrote:
    99thornlessredroses wrote:
    duplex wrote:
    99thornlessredroses wrote:
    i'll let maturity do its job on you so that you'll get the meaning by yourself. Razz

    what happen if I am mature at that time and still dont get it? I probably wont have anyone to tell it to me, so why dont you just tell me already tongue

    i'm pretty sure you'll get it since you live in the US. Razz

    and what does that suppose to mean? Shocked

    people in the US mature faster than people in the Philippines when it comes to green jokes! hahaha! XD

    I dont believe you...prove it! tongue

    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on March 28th 2010, 5:05 am


    So now, would it be my fault that you didnt get the joke?


    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on March 28th 2010, 5:06 am


    The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great bush fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his office to hire a plane

    "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.

    As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let’s go! Let’s go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.

    "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."

    "Why?" asked the pilot.

    "Because I’m going to take pictures! I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience.

    After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you’re not the instructor?"



    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on March 28th 2010, 5:07 am


    At the end of the workday, one cowboy tells another, "That new bull nearly did me in today, partner."
    "Oh yeah, what happened?"
    "I was putting out the feed, when the sucker came charging at me like a locomotive from hell. He damn near got me!"
    "So, how'd you get away?"
    "Well the bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make it to the fence and jump over."
    "Man, that's scary. If it'd been me, I would probably have shit all over the place."
    "I DID! What do you think the bull was slipping on?"



    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    D@shie
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by D@shie on March 28th 2010, 5:08 am


    Sam and John were out cutting wood, and John cut his arm off. Sam wrapped the arm in a plastic bag and took it and John to a surgeon. The surgeon said, "You're in luck! I'm an expert at reattaching limbs! Come back in four hours." So Sam came back in four hours and the surgeon said, "I got done faster than I expected to. John is down at the local pub." Sam went to the pub and saw John throwing darts.
    A few weeks later, Sam and John were out again, and John cut his leg off. Sam put the leg in a plastic bag and took it and John back to the surgeon. The surgeon said, "Legs are a little tougher - come back in six hours." Sam returned in six hours and the surgeon said, "I finished early - John's down at the soccer field." Sam went to the soccer field and there was John, kicking goals.
    A few weeks later, John had a terrible accident and cut his head off. Sam put the head in a plastic bag and took it and the rest of John to the surgeon. The surgeon said, "Gee, heads are really tough. Come back in twelve hours." So Sam returned in twelve hours and the surgeon said, "I'm sorry, John died." Sam said, "I understand - heads are tough." The surgeon said, "Oh, no! The surgery went fine! John suffocated in that plastic bag!"



    _________________
    If only I have five lives!
    Then I could be from five different towns,
    and stuff myself full of five different types of food
    and have five different jobs...


    And I could...


    Fall inlove with the same person five times!


    - Orihime Inoue




    duplex
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    Re: Joke Time!

    Post by duplex on March 28th 2010, 10:28 am

    D@shie wrote:

    So now, would it be my fault that you didnt get the joke?

    yea, it is absolutely your fault or it just mean that you are not good at telling jokes! tongue LOL

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