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    Frustrated August Scriptwriter!

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    chanrakter
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    Re: Frustrated August Scriptwriter!

    Post by chanrakter on April 18th 2009, 11:46 pm

    julipych wrote:
    chanrakter wrote:
    marianner wrote:Here's the continuation of Chapter 1: Venice.

    I decided that the first one I posted would be some kind of prelude or something. Very Happy

    Hope you guys like it!

    Spoiler:
    The sun started to set on the City of Water. After strolling and getting lost together through the avenues, Non and Suchin found themselves on a dock. An elderly man passes by with his gondola of faded blue and chipped red. The man spoke in a low but calming voice.

    “Vuoi una gondola ride, signore?” (Would you like a gondola ride, sir?)

    “Sì, signore. We would like a ride,” replied Non, wiping sweat off his brow with a blue handkerchief.

    Suchin looked at Non with puzzled eyes. She could not believe that she was going for a gondola ride, because the fare, as she heard, was 70 Euros for a 50-minute ride; a steep amount. Non looked at the elderly gondolier, who seemed to have read Suchin’s sentiments.

    “Signorina,” said the man in accented English, “I believe you are concerned with the price! I can see it in your eyes, the apprehension and the worry.. But you two are very lucky, even blessed! Today happens to be my last day as a gondolier.. And it would be my pleasure for the lovely couple to have this gondola ride.. Gratuitamente.” As he said this, a smile came up his creased face, his eyes twinkling in the sunlight. He was giving them a gondola ride.. Free.

    The girl in the black and gold gown beamed as she took the gondolier’s hand to step into the gondola. Non followed shortly after, and took his place beside her.

    “Signore e signorina, will you permit me to speak as we go through the Venetian Canals?” asked the able oarsman.

    “Why yes, sir. Please do. We would like to know about our very generous gondoliere!” Suchin replied cheerfully, as she patted the sweat off her neck with a lace kerchief.

    “Thank you, dear miss. My name is Federigo Costa,” he started. I was born in 1942, here in Venezia. I am part of a long line of gondoliere here in the city. Our family did not just treat this as a business, but part of life itself. Many others only view this to make money, but we don’t see it as that. Yes, it does help us to survive day-to-day expenses such as food, but my nonno (grandfather) always told me that to drive a gondola down the canals should be a life-changing experience. We want the people who come to us just not to look, but to see. Venice is a magical place in itself. Why, it is the City of Water..”

    As he spoke, Non seemingly lost awareness of what was going on. He found himself looking, no, gazing, at Suchin as she listened to the somewhat melodic voice of Federigo, sharing his story. He noticed her rumpled hair-do, how it made her look prettier than when he saw her during Carnivale. He saw her fingertips grazing along her forearm as she lightly scratched her wrist. He observed how her eyes sparkled when the light chanced to come by them. She was beautiful, in a slightly messy but lovely way..

    The gondolier continued to recount his memories of the Canals, from how he met his wife to how he saved a young lad from ending his own life. His stories captivated the couple as they floated along the water.

    Federigo pointed to a spot in front of them. “Look over there. That is the famous Ponte dei Sospiri.. The Bridge of Sighs. It was named such because that was where convicts saw their last view of Venice before being imprisoned. Sad, but nowadays there is a local legend about it..”

    The girl and the boy looked quizzically at Federigo. “They say that lovers will be assured eternal love if they kiss on a gondola at sunset under the bridge..” said the old man.

    Non saw that Suchin became startled. He understood what she was feeling. They just met each other unexpectedly at the climax of Carnivale. They just strolled around together like children in a new place. Would he kiss her, this early, this fast? But then again, he thought, it’s the Bridge of Sighs..

    Suchin clutched at her paper fan, not knowing what to do, what to saw, how to react. She recounted the day’s events, on how she met this man during Carnivale with a backpack and a DSLR in hand. She only met him that morning, but it seemed as if she knew him for the longest time. Peering into his eyes, searching for an answer, a little smile crept up her mouth, becoming a beaming smile, and let out a little chuckle.

    Seeing that the boat was nearing the bridge, Non slowly took her hands and held them in his. He smiled shyly to her, not knowing how she would react to the sudden gesture. Pleasantly surprised, she turned to him, like a signal of approval that yes, she would let him kiss her. As the gondola glided under the bridge, he steadily leant towards Suchin, their hands still in each other’s, kissed tenderly in the crimson sunset.

    Federigo took a glance, and turned away, smiling, and a tear gently rolled down his wrinkled cheek. He turned back to see the couple smiling at each other, and them smiling back at him. It was moments like this that made him realize how magical it was to be a gondoliere. He would miss this, he definitely would.

    As the sunset made way for glimmering stars, the gondolier and the couple made their way back to the docks, bringing with them an unforgettable memory that would surely become embedded not just in their minds, but in their hearts as well. Federigo was able to say a proper goodbye to the waterways he loved for most of his life, while Non and Suchin lit a flame in them that would grow steadily throughout their time together – it was the flame of love.

    Good job yet again!

    *gets inspired to develop hers*

    wow! suchin! wonderful....

    *drools around*
    you're inspiring me actually... hehe
    it makes me wanted to develop the writer in me... hehe yes

    Love you, my talented friend!


    _________________
    หัวใจที่ไม่เคยเรียนรู้ที่จะรักนั้นอ่อนแอ

    A heart that has never learnt to love is weak
    --- Kop Koon Gan Lae Gan by Witwisit Hiranyawongkul




    marianner
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    Re: Frustrated August Scriptwriter!

    Post by marianner on April 18th 2009, 11:49 pm

    I love you too! Smile

    Suchin rak Pailin mai! เพื่อนถาวร!

    chiruruzu
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    Number of posts : 1562
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    Registration date : 2009-01-01

    Re: Frustrated August Scriptwriter!

    Post by chiruruzu on April 18th 2009, 11:53 pm

    marianner wrote:Here's the continuation of Chapter 1: Venice.

    I decided that the first one I posted would be some kind of prelude or something. Very Happy

    Hope you guys like it!

    Spoiler:
    The sun started to set on the City of Water. After strolling and getting lost together through the avenues, Non and Suchin found themselves on a dock. An elderly man passes by with his gondola of faded blue and chipped red. The man spoke in a low but calming voice.

    “Vuoi una gondola ride, signore?” (Would you like a gondola ride, sir?)

    “Sì, signore. We would like a ride,” replied Non, wiping sweat off his brow with a blue handkerchief.

    Suchin looked at Non with puzzled eyes. She could not believe that she was going for a gondola ride, because the fare, as she heard, was 70 Euros for a 50-minute ride; a steep amount. Non looked at the elderly gondolier, who seemed to have read Suchin’s sentiments.

    “Signorina,” said the man in accented English, “I believe you are concerned with the price! I can see it in your eyes, the apprehension and the worry.. But you two are very lucky, even blessed! Today happens to be my last day as a gondolier.. And it would be my pleasure for the lovely couple to have this gondola ride.. Gratuitamente.” As he said this, a smile came up his creased face, his eyes twinkling in the sunlight. He was giving them a gondola ride.. Free.

    The girl in the black and gold gown beamed as she took the gondolier’s hand to step into the gondola. Non followed shortly after, and took his place beside her.

    “Signore e signorina, will you permit me to speak as we go through the Venetian Canals?” asked the able oarsman.

    “Why yes, sir. Please do. We would like to know about our very generous gondoliere!” Suchin replied cheerfully, as she patted the sweat off her neck with a lace kerchief.

    “Thank you, dear miss. My name is Federigo Costa,” he started. I was born in 1942, here in Venezia. I am part of a long line of gondoliere here in the city. Our family did not just treat this as a business, but part of life itself. Many others only view this to make money, but we don’t see it as that. Yes, it does help us to survive day-to-day expenses such as food, but my nonno (grandfather) always told me that to drive a gondola down the canals should be a life-changing experience. We want the people who come to us just not to look, but to see. Venice is a magical place in itself. Why, it is the City of Water..”

    As he spoke, Non seemingly lost awareness of what was going on. He found himself looking, no, gazing, at Suchin as she listened to the somewhat melodic voice of Federigo, sharing his story. He noticed her rumpled hair-do, how it made her look prettier than when he saw her during Carnivale. He saw her fingertips grazing along her forearm as she lightly scratched her wrist. He observed how her eyes sparkled when the light chanced to come by them. She was beautiful, in a slightly messy but lovely way..

    The gondolier continued to recount his memories of the Canals, from how he met his wife to how he saved a young lad from ending his own life. His stories captivated the couple as they floated along the water.

    Federigo pointed to a spot in front of them. “Look over there. That is the famous Ponte dei Sospiri.. The Bridge of Sighs. It was named such because that was where convicts saw their last view of Venice before being imprisoned. Sad, but nowadays there is a local legend about it..”

    The girl and the boy looked quizzically at Federigo. “They say that lovers will be assured eternal love if they kiss on a gondola at sunset under the bridge..” said the old man.

    Non saw that Suchin became startled. He understood what she was feeling. They just met each other unexpectedly at the climax of Carnivale. They just strolled around together like children in a new place. Would he kiss her, this early, this fast? But then again, he thought, it’s the Bridge of Sighs..

    Suchin clutched at her paper fan, not knowing what to do, what to saw, how to react. She recounted the day’s events, on how she met this man during Carnivale with a backpack and a DSLR in hand. She only met him that morning, but it seemed as if she knew him for the longest time. Peering into his eyes, searching for an answer, a little smile crept up her mouth, becoming a beaming smile, and let out a little chuckle.

    Seeing that the boat was nearing the bridge, Non slowly took her hands and held them in his. He smiled shyly to her, not knowing how she would react to the sudden gesture. Pleasantly surprised, she turned to him, like a signal of approval that yes, she would let him kiss her. As the gondola glided under the bridge, he steadily leant towards Suchin, their hands still in each other’s, kissed tenderly in the crimson sunset.

    Federigo took a glance, and turned away, smiling, and a tear gently rolled down his wrinkled cheek. He turned back to see the couple smiling at each other, and them smiling back at him. It was moments like this that made him realize how magical it was to be a gondoliere. He would miss this, he definitely would.

    As the sunset made way for glimmering stars, the gondolier and the couple made their way back to the docks, bringing with them an unforgettable memory that would surely become embedded not just in their minds, but in their hearts as well. Federigo was able to say a proper goodbye to the waterways he loved for most of his life, while Non and Suchin lit a flame in them that would grow steadily throughout their time together – it was the flame of love.

    Now, I am definitely enthralled with your writing skills suchin., Again, I love the imagery., You write with such amazing picturesque style Very Happy

    And I definitely notice the effort of multi-layering the story into different angles., a definite plus for me.,

    A word of caution though, you have to stick with the different layers that you have created in order to continue the chronological order of the narrative., but I'm sure you will...

    Go for the gold suchin., Embrace your gift., Can't wait for the next chapter... there will be, right?! cheers cheers cheers

    chanrakter
    Honorary Pchynatic
    Honorary Pchynatic

    Number of posts : 6540
    Age : 28
    Location : Somewhere over the rainbow!
    Registration date : 2009-03-23

    Re: Frustrated August Scriptwriter!

    Post by chanrakter on April 18th 2009, 11:55 pm

    marianner wrote:I love you too! Smile

    Suchin rak Pailin mai! เพื่อนถาวร!

    Aww! Chan rak ter, chee puak!


    _________________
    หัวใจที่ไม่เคยเรียนรู้ที่จะรักนั้นอ่อนแอ

    A heart that has never learnt to love is weak
    --- Kop Koon Gan Lae Gan by Witwisit Hiranyawongkul




    chanrakter
    Honorary Pchynatic
    Honorary Pchynatic

    Number of posts : 6540
    Age : 28
    Location : Somewhere over the rainbow!
    Registration date : 2009-03-23

    Re: Frustrated August Scriptwriter!

    Post by chanrakter on April 18th 2009, 11:56 pm

    chiruruzu wrote:
    marianner wrote:Here's the continuation of Chapter 1: Venice.

    I decided that the first one I posted would be some kind of prelude or something. Very Happy

    Hope you guys like it!

    Spoiler:
    The sun started to set on the City of Water. After strolling and getting lost together through the avenues, Non and Suchin found themselves on a dock. An elderly man passes by with his gondola of faded blue and chipped red. The man spoke in a low but calming voice.

    “Vuoi una gondola ride, signore?” (Would you like a gondola ride, sir?)

    “Sì, signore. We would like a ride,” replied Non, wiping sweat off his brow with a blue handkerchief.

    Suchin looked at Non with puzzled eyes. She could not believe that she was going for a gondola ride, because the fare, as she heard, was 70 Euros for a 50-minute ride; a steep amount. Non looked at the elderly gondolier, who seemed to have read Suchin’s sentiments.

    “Signorina,” said the man in accented English, “I believe you are concerned with the price! I can see it in your eyes, the apprehension and the worry.. But you two are very lucky, even blessed! Today happens to be my last day as a gondolier.. And it would be my pleasure for the lovely couple to have this gondola ride.. Gratuitamente.” As he said this, a smile came up his creased face, his eyes twinkling in the sunlight. He was giving them a gondola ride.. Free.

    The girl in the black and gold gown beamed as she took the gondolier’s hand to step into the gondola. Non followed shortly after, and took his place beside her.

    “Signore e signorina, will you permit me to speak as we go through the Venetian Canals?” asked the able oarsman.

    “Why yes, sir. Please do. We would like to know about our very generous gondoliere!” Suchin replied cheerfully, as she patted the sweat off her neck with a lace kerchief.

    “Thank you, dear miss. My name is Federigo Costa,” he started. I was born in 1942, here in Venezia. I am part of a long line of gondoliere here in the city. Our family did not just treat this as a business, but part of life itself. Many others only view this to make money, but we don’t see it as that. Yes, it does help us to survive day-to-day expenses such as food, but my nonno (grandfather) always told me that to drive a gondola down the canals should be a life-changing experience. We want the people who come to us just not to look, but to see. Venice is a magical place in itself. Why, it is the City of Water..”

    As he spoke, Non seemingly lost awareness of what was going on. He found himself looking, no, gazing, at Suchin as she listened to the somewhat melodic voice of Federigo, sharing his story. He noticed her rumpled hair-do, how it made her look prettier than when he saw her during Carnivale. He saw her fingertips grazing along her forearm as she lightly scratched her wrist. He observed how her eyes sparkled when the light chanced to come by them. She was beautiful, in a slightly messy but lovely way..

    The gondolier continued to recount his memories of the Canals, from how he met his wife to how he saved a young lad from ending his own life. His stories captivated the couple as they floated along the water.

    Federigo pointed to a spot in front of them. “Look over there. That is the famous Ponte dei Sospiri.. The Bridge of Sighs. It was named such because that was where convicts saw their last view of Venice before being imprisoned. Sad, but nowadays there is a local legend about it..”

    The girl and the boy looked quizzically at Federigo. “They say that lovers will be assured eternal love if they kiss on a gondola at sunset under the bridge..” said the old man.

    Non saw that Suchin became startled. He understood what she was feeling. They just met each other unexpectedly at the climax of Carnivale. They just strolled around together like children in a new place. Would he kiss her, this early, this fast? But then again, he thought, it’s the Bridge of Sighs..

    Suchin clutched at her paper fan, not knowing what to do, what to saw, how to react. She recounted the day’s events, on how she met this man during Carnivale with a backpack and a DSLR in hand. She only met him that morning, but it seemed as if she knew him for the longest time. Peering into his eyes, searching for an answer, a little smile crept up her mouth, becoming a beaming smile, and let out a little chuckle.

    Seeing that the boat was nearing the bridge, Non slowly took her hands and held them in his. He smiled shyly to her, not knowing how she would react to the sudden gesture. Pleasantly surprised, she turned to him, like a signal of approval that yes, she would let him kiss her. As the gondola glided under the bridge, he steadily leant towards Suchin, their hands still in each other’s, kissed tenderly in the crimson sunset.

    Federigo took a glance, and turned away, smiling, and a tear gently rolled down his wrinkled cheek. He turned back to see the couple smiling at each other, and them smiling back at him. It was moments like this that made him realize how magical it was to be a gondoliere. He would miss this, he definitely would.

    As the sunset made way for glimmering stars, the gondolier and the couple made their way back to the docks, bringing with them an unforgettable memory that would surely become embedded not just in their minds, but in their hearts as well. Federigo was able to say a proper goodbye to the waterways he loved for most of his life, while Non and Suchin lit a flame in them that would grow steadily throughout their time together – it was the flame of love.

    Now, I am definitely enthralled with your writing skills suchin., Again, I love the imagery., You write with such amazing picturesque style Very Happy

    And I definitely notice the effort of multi-layering the story into different angles., a definite plus for me.,

    A word of caution though, you have to stick with the different layers that you have created in order to continue the chronological order of the narrative., but I'm sure you will...

    Go for the gold suchin., Embrace your gift., Can't wait for the next chapter... there will be, right?! cheers cheers cheers

    Very, very true! Pursue that gift mai!


    _________________
    หัวใจที่ไม่เคยเรียนรู้ที่จะรักนั้นอ่อนแอ

    A heart that has never learnt to love is weak
    --- Kop Koon Gan Lae Gan by Witwisit Hiranyawongkul




    julipych
    Pchy's Lover
    Pchy's Lover

    Number of posts : 2419
    Age : 26
    Location : quezon city
    Registration date : 2009-03-08

    Re: Frustrated August Scriptwriter!

    Post by julipych on April 18th 2009, 11:57 pm

    chanrakter wrote:
    chiruruzu wrote:
    marianner wrote:Here's the continuation of Chapter 1: Venice.

    I decided that the first one I posted would be some kind of prelude or something. Very Happy

    Hope you guys like it!

    Spoiler:
    The sun started to set on the City of Water. After strolling and getting lost together through the avenues, Non and Suchin found themselves on a dock. An elderly man passes by with his gondola of faded blue and chipped red. The man spoke in a low but calming voice.

    “Vuoi una gondola ride, signore?” (Would you like a gondola ride, sir?)

    “Sì, signore. We would like a ride,” replied Non, wiping sweat off his brow with a blue handkerchief.

    Suchin looked at Non with puzzled eyes. She could not believe that she was going for a gondola ride, because the fare, as she heard, was 70 Euros for a 50-minute ride; a steep amount. Non looked at the elderly gondolier, who seemed to have read Suchin’s sentiments.

    “Signorina,” said the man in accented English, “I believe you are concerned with the price! I can see it in your eyes, the apprehension and the worry.. But you two are very lucky, even blessed! Today happens to be my last day as a gondolier.. And it would be my pleasure for the lovely couple to have this gondola ride.. Gratuitamente.” As he said this, a smile came up his creased face, his eyes twinkling in the sunlight. He was giving them a gondola ride.. Free.

    The girl in the black and gold gown beamed as she took the gondolier’s hand to step into the gondola. Non followed shortly after, and took his place beside her.

    “Signore e signorina, will you permit me to speak as we go through the Venetian Canals?” asked the able oarsman.

    “Why yes, sir. Please do. We would like to know about our very generous gondoliere!” Suchin replied cheerfully, as she patted the sweat off her neck with a lace kerchief.

    “Thank you, dear miss. My name is Federigo Costa,” he started. I was born in 1942, here in Venezia. I am part of a long line of gondoliere here in the city. Our family did not just treat this as a business, but part of life itself. Many others only view this to make money, but we don’t see it as that. Yes, it does help us to survive day-to-day expenses such as food, but my nonno (grandfather) always told me that to drive a gondola down the canals should be a life-changing experience. We want the people who come to us just not to look, but to see. Venice is a magical place in itself. Why, it is the City of Water..”

    As he spoke, Non seemingly lost awareness of what was going on. He found himself looking, no, gazing, at Suchin as she listened to the somewhat melodic voice of Federigo, sharing his story. He noticed her rumpled hair-do, how it made her look prettier than when he saw her during Carnivale. He saw her fingertips grazing along her forearm as she lightly scratched her wrist. He observed how her eyes sparkled when the light chanced to come by them. She was beautiful, in a slightly messy but lovely way..

    The gondolier continued to recount his memories of the Canals, from how he met his wife to how he saved a young lad from ending his own life. His stories captivated the couple as they floated along the water.

    Federigo pointed to a spot in front of them. “Look over there. That is the famous Ponte dei Sospiri.. The Bridge of Sighs. It was named such because that was where convicts saw their last view of Venice before being imprisoned. Sad, but nowadays there is a local legend about it..”

    The girl and the boy looked quizzically at Federigo. “They say that lovers will be assured eternal love if they kiss on a gondola at sunset under the bridge..” said the old man.

    Non saw that Suchin became startled. He understood what she was feeling. They just met each other unexpectedly at the climax of Carnivale. They just strolled around together like children in a new place. Would he kiss her, this early, this fast? But then again, he thought, it’s the Bridge of Sighs..

    Suchin clutched at her paper fan, not knowing what to do, what to saw, how to react. She recounted the day’s events, on how she met this man during Carnivale with a backpack and a DSLR in hand. She only met him that morning, but it seemed as if she knew him for the longest time. Peering into his eyes, searching for an answer, a little smile crept up her mouth, becoming a beaming smile, and let out a little chuckle.

    Seeing that the boat was nearing the bridge, Non slowly took her hands and held them in his. He smiled shyly to her, not knowing how she would react to the sudden gesture. Pleasantly surprised, she turned to him, like a signal of approval that yes, she would let him kiss her. As the gondola glided under the bridge, he steadily leant towards Suchin, their hands still in each other’s, kissed tenderly in the crimson sunset.

    Federigo took a glance, and turned away, smiling, and a tear gently rolled down his wrinkled cheek. He turned back to see the couple smiling at each other, and them smiling back at him. It was moments like this that made him realize how magical it was to be a gondoliere. He would miss this, he definitely would.

    As the sunset made way for glimmering stars, the gondolier and the couple made their way back to the docks, bringing with them an unforgettable memory that would surely become embedded not just in their minds, but in their hearts as well. Federigo was able to say a proper goodbye to the waterways he loved for most of his life, while Non and Suchin lit a flame in them that would grow steadily throughout their time together – it was the flame of love.

    Now, I am definitely enthralled with your writing skills suchin., Again, I love the imagery., You write with such amazing picturesque style Very Happy

    And I definitely notice the effort of multi-layering the story into different angles., a definite plus for me.,

    A word of caution though, you have to stick with the different layers that you have created in order to continue the chronological order of the narrative., but I'm sure you will...

    Go for the gold suchin., Embrace your gift., Can't wait for the next chapter... there will be, right?! cheers cheers cheers

    Very, very true! Pursue that gift mai!

    and keep on inspiring people like me! hehe yes

    marianner
    Certified Pchyholic
    Certified Pchyholic

    Number of posts : 982
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    Registration date : 2009-04-07

    Re: Frustrated August Scriptwriter!

    Post by marianner on April 19th 2009, 12:08 am

    @Chiru - What do you mean by sticking to the layers? Enlighten me, won't you? Smile

    Thank you everyone, I really appreciate your feedback. It really pushes me to improve and to write even more! After all, writing is not just a requirement or a hobby or a mere pastime, but a PASSION. Smile

    Just to let you all know, their next destination will be Milan! (I really looked at a map of Italy, I figured Milan would be a realistic place to go due to its proximity to Venice.

    Spoiler:

    Venice is in the region of Veneto, while Milan is in the region of Lombardy (Lombardia). Smile

    YES, I do research for this story. Very Happy

    chiruruzu
    Pchy's Lover
    Pchy's Lover

    Number of posts : 1562
    Age : 26
    Location : cebu
    Registration date : 2009-01-01

    Re: Frustrated August Scriptwriter!

    Post by chiruruzu on April 19th 2009, 12:11 am

    marianner wrote:@Chiru - What do you mean by sticking to the layers? Enlighten me, won't you? Smile

    Thank you everyone, I really appreciate your feedback. It really pushes me to improve and to write even more! After all, writing is not just a requirement or a hobby or a mere pastime, but a PASSION. Smile

    Just to let you all know, their next destination will be Milan! (I really looked at a map of Italy, I figured Milan would be a realistic place to go due to its proximity to Venice.

    Spoiler:

    Venice is in the region of Veneto, while Milan is in the region of Lombardy (Lombardia). Smile

    YES, I do research for this story. Very Happy

    what i mean is that you have to always remember to supplement the story of the different sub-plots that you have made., in this way no character will be put to an immediate dismissal. Plus, the readers can easily make the connections between them.,

    but overall, go for the gold., the story is very nice., Very Happy

    chanrakter
    Honorary Pchynatic
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    Number of posts : 6540
    Age : 28
    Location : Somewhere over the rainbow!
    Registration date : 2009-03-23

    Re: Frustrated August Scriptwriter!

    Post by chanrakter on April 19th 2009, 12:47 am

    chiruruzu wrote:
    marianner wrote:@Chiru - What do you mean by sticking to the layers? Enlighten me, won't you? Smile

    Thank you everyone, I really appreciate your feedback. It really pushes me to improve and to write even more! After all, writing is not just a requirement or a hobby or a mere pastime, but a PASSION. Smile

    Just to let you all know, their next destination will be Milan! (I really looked at a map of Italy, I figured Milan would be a realistic place to go due to its proximity to Venice.

    Spoiler:

    Venice is in the region of Veneto, while Milan is in the region of Lombardy (Lombardia). Smile

    YES, I do research for this story. Very Happy

    what i mean is that you have to always remember to supplement the story of the different sub-plots that you have made., in this way no character will be put to an immediate dismissal. Plus, the readers can easily make the connections between them.,

    but overall, go for the gold., the story is very nice., Very Happy

    Very, very nice!

    And I must commend you on researching for your writing! It shows your dedication to bringing your characters to life!


    _________________
    หัวใจที่ไม่เคยเรียนรู้ที่จะรักนั้นอ่อนแอ

    A heart that has never learnt to love is weak
    --- Kop Koon Gan Lae Gan by Witwisit Hiranyawongkul




    marianner
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    Registration date : 2009-04-07

    Re: Frustrated August Scriptwriter!

    Post by marianner on May 23rd 2009, 7:07 pm

    Hi guys! Sorry it took so long to update.. I've been having writer's block which absolutely sucks xD Chapter 2 isn't finished, in fact, it is still in progress. But I'd like to know what you all think of it so far. So.. here it is. I hope you like it, and I appreciate your comments and feedback. yes

    Spoiler:
    Capitolo Due - Milano
    Chapter Two – Milan


    The next day, Suchin woke up as sunlight filled her room. She checked her watch; it was 6:30am. Before they parted ways last night, Non and her arranged to meet up at the Fondamenta Santa Lucia (a train station) at 7:30am, for they agreed that for the rest of her stay in Italy, they would go to all the well-known cities, absorb the culture, taste the cuisine, the usual things tourists would do. She got out of bed and took a quick shower, anxious but excited to what the day would bring.

    It was also a good opportunity for Non to continue photographing for his project. He woke up to the scent of fresh bread that drifted through his window from the nearby bakery. As he went down the stairs to the reception to check out, he contemplated on how the day would go. He had photographed wonderful scenes and people during Carnavale, and yesterday he met this amazing girl with the almond eyes that he kissed under the Bridge of Sighs in a gondola.. When he realized that he was spacing out, he made the necessary payments for his stay at the hotel, put on his messenger bag, and, with a trolley bag in tow, walked in the warm Venetian sunshine to the bakery, and bought 2 slices of fresh, warm pandoro.

    He headed for the train station feeling nervous, but with a smile across his mouth and his twinkling brown eyes as he saw her, Suchin, in a white caftan top and khaki shorts, with a large grey canvas shoulder bag, and a trolley bag also in tow, eyes wandering, searching for him through the sea of people who were on their way home after experiencing Carnavale. The light breeze made her dark chestnut hair flutter, which in his eyes made her even more amazing.

    ______________________________


    Since their departure was scheduled at 8:50am, the two found a place to sit at the nearby café. Non brought out the pandoro along with a little packet of marmalade to spread on it. He took from his messenger bag his Nikon D90, poised and ready to take a photo when he felt the moment was right. Suchin, still a little sleepy, rubbed her eyes with her sleeve, and spoke.

    “May I have one?” pointing to the bread that Non bought.

    “Of course, my dear. I did buy that for both of us.” he replied.

    Suchin slightly blushed as she took a slice and quietly munched on it. Her eyes wandered as people passed by, and the smiling Non picked up his camera and took a photo of the girl sitting across him, her sparkling eyes darting across the seemingly sea of people in the Venetian sun.

    “Bella,” he said. “Così bella. So beautiful..” he muttered under his breath so she would not hear.

    After a long chat over a light breakfast, the two headed over to the station. It was 8:30am, and the train would be open for boarding in a bit. They bought their tickets, checked their baggage and headed over to the train. A cheery treno conduttore (train conductor) greeted Suchin buongiorno as he reached out his hand to help her up the steps. Non boarded the train as soon as she did, and smiled and nodded his head as he passed the conduttore and made his way to an empty compartment coach. Suchin quickly took her place by the window and laid her bag next to her, surveying their coach. She took out her digicam and snapped a few pictures, and, took a few pictures of herself as well. Realizing that Non was looking at her, she gave out a giggle and took a photo of him.

    “Well, you’re quite the shutterbug as well!” said Non as he chuckled.

    She replied, “Am I? I just like taking photos, that’s all. It’s always nice to capture a second in time, to keep the memory alive. And it’s a little of an ego booster of sorts, because I like to take pics of myself when I travel. Something for my friends to see, haha!”

    The train’s whistle blew, and soon enough the train left the station. Things were quiet between them, Non did not want to disturb Suchin while she looked out the window, marveling as the landscapes flew by. It was a 2 hour, 35 minute trip, and he wanted her to enjoy the ride however she could. He got his messenger bag from the luggage compartment above him, and pulled out a book for him to read. It was one of his favorites, Gabriel Garcia Marquez’ Love in the Time of Cholera. He had read it over 3 times, and he never got tired of reading about Fermina Daza’s stoic beauty and regal air, Juvenal Urbino’s quiet devotion to her as a husband, and Florentino Ariza’s long-time obsession and love for the same woman that he had kept in his heart since he saw her as a young schoolgirl. He read on, not noticing that Suchin’s eyes drooped to the point that she was already snoozing, her head leaning against the window.

    Deciding to stop reading for the time, he put his book down, and smiled when he saw her sleeping. He pulled her bag a little away to her side, and with his strong hands and arms she supported her as he laid her down on the plush crimson seat, gently laying her head on her bag like a little cushion.

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    Re: Frustrated August Scriptwriter!

    Post by Sponsored content Today at 2:49 pm


      Current date/time is December 10th 2016, 2:49 pm