this alternative is based loosely on Silent Pen's earlier version.
hope that i wouldn't offend Silent Pen

these are highlight of my story line
A. beginning

1. introduction
mew throw himself in a secluded life, beside his responsibility to August Band, he is barely seen. Aex began to approach Mew, but Mew insist on his lobe for Tong, not ready to replace it

2. Tong's life
after Tong left Mew, he manage to bring back his family on better track, but he has an expensive price to pay, his own happines. his love for Mew left unfullfilled. he hasn't any idea yet what to happen between Mew and Aex.

3. Aex persistence on Mew
no matter how deep Mew's sorrow is, he can't deny how Aex helped him an five impact on his life. Aex don't give up on Mew. Aex sacrifice so much just to have a bit of Mew's precious heart.
Mew is then convinced of Aex love for him and decided to give his heart to Aex.

4. Mew's per "fake" happiness
the relationship between them based on Mew's compassion on Aex's fight for his heart, while his true love is addressed to Tong. Mew tries to convince himself to be able to replace Tong with Aex. for the te being, Aex manage to fill the gap Tong had left.

B. Conflict

5. Tong's search for Mew
after so much inner battle wirh himself and doubt, he finally made his desision to search for Mew, to reclaim his love. surprise call from Tong in late night made Mew awake the whole night long, and agreed for a meeting 2 days later.

6. Mew decide for Aex
to late for Tong, Mew has move on and to Tong's bitterness, Aex is now the one Mew is giving his heart to. desparately Tong tries hard to win Mew back but without result

7. Tong doesn't give up on Mew
one statement Mew said: " i have move on, although i still have my gratest love for you, but Aex deserve my heart, after what he has done" devestate Tong. though, Tong stil tries to chase Mew, and bring Mew's relationship with Aex to crisis, for Aex know, he might have Mew's commitment, but not his love.

c. climax

8. Tong's pifalls
it's a long process of Tong's decline process. day by day, he throw himself into depreasion, with the thought, Mew is having his revenge for Tong left Mew years before. he befriend himself with drugs.

9. the rehab
Tong's dad find Tong while he was in fly state, brought Tong to hospital, then to rehab centre. after several session with councellor, he unfolda his unfullfilled love for Mew. Tong's parent was sad for the truth, is running out of an option, but to give Tong what he needs.

10. conversation
tong's mom called Mew for a talk. Mew's heart dropped to hear Tong's drug abuse and the confession. Tong's mom beg Mew to go back to Tong, gi e the full blessing for whatever happen to the two.

d. resolution
11. Mew's talk with Aex
Mew doen't want to dissapoint Aex, but he has to choose between Aex's persistence and Tong, his true love. Aex has seen before that Mew has been always happier with Tong feels no option than to let Mew be happy. this is the final chapter of Aex love for Mew

12. Mew and Aex visit
Mew and Aex make his visit to see Tong. Mew is surpriswd how deveatated Tong's condition is, and Aex now see the bitter truth. Aex make his big desision to release Mew and to let Mew love Tong

13. Tong's recovery
Mew is then free to love Tong, but the hurricane of Tong's life hasn't ended, detosifications process and healings process cost them much. The disaster finally over, Mew stay with Tong help Tong to regain back his life

14. finale
Tong is then cured after many process and now with his parents blessing, live with Mew an stay together in Mew's home. time to time Aex wound get healed.


hope this version will be approve by all of you...

This is my first draft of chapter 1

Chapter 1

Some 3 years passed, and Mew live alone, hoping and consider himself still loved by Tong.

First year since the good bye conversation, he lived in a sweet dream, enveloped by Tong's statement: ... Doesn't mean i don't love you... And the Nose piece Tong gave him  made him believe that Tong has finally completed his love for him. That believe was carried around by Mew everywhere he goes, his activity at August Band, concerts performances, rehearsals, his loneliness at home. 

He doesn't know how his feeling towards Tong, and how he think Tong would feels toward him, would affect him years to come. Infused with beautiful fatamorgana, yet unreal as it is, since Tong doesn't seek for him nor does Tong text message him, Mew tries to keep himself happy enough but more and more excluded from his social life and the band member who cares for him. Slowly but steadily this feeling would take away Mew's spirit towards life and love.

Two years passed, band's member notice Mew begin to lock himself from the others, even from Aex, his best friend. The band can't help the situation since Mew keeps his duty fulfilled and only he is becoming more absent-minded.

Mew began to feel a sense of lost towards Tong, wondering what keeps Tong from seeking him. His longing for Tong grows bit by bit after he felt he still keeps Tong's love. 

The fact he live all alone in his house worsen this condition. Every night he let his heart become wounded by his imagination, at times he weeps for this sense of lost, hoping Tong would call or text him. 

Around this time Aex approach Mew, try to visit Mew, paying more attention for him. He doesn't know how it started, with weeks by weeks passing his attention grow into passion. That all are skipped by Mew who still blindly hope for Tong

The condition get worse with Mew began to skip rehearsals, and barely supervise the recording session. If then he show up, he has his mind almost all the time elsewhere. Aex doesn't give up on Mew, trying to win his heart, and bare the wound that he is almost unseen by Mew.

Once Aex tries to talk to Mew, but Mew doesn't respond well, going around with any kind of reason he just can grab. How brave Aex to stand this kind of rejection, especially addressed at wrong timing. 

Eventually, in the third year Mew can't stand it anymore. His feelings for Tong became a poison which has taken away his enthusiasm, his joy, his light, and grow dim and dimmer. He locked himself alone at home for days, barely eat anything, stay in bed, confused about everything, and there is a great sense of void in his heart. 

15.04.12

Meanwhile, Ying, now become one of his closest friend, does notice what is going on with Mew. She tries to keep Mew to behold his sense of reallity. Almost every night Ying comes by Mew's house, many times with Aex together giving more live to Mew's house

Initially Ying share the same thought that Tong would soon declare his love for Tong. After seeing Mew grow dim, Ying think something is not right there between the two. She don't understand Either what keeps Tong.

One day, she passes her way woth Tong at Siam Square,

"Hi Tong, where have you been?"
"Hi Ying, where are you going?"
"I'm just window shopping, if lucky I would find something nice... Tong... May I ask you something?"
"Yes..."
"I've notice you haven't seen Mew for quite time... Do you have problem with him?"

Tong takes a while to answer

"I'm not yet ready to give what Mew needs"

Ying pay a closer look into Tong's eye

"I think Mew needs you right now"
"I know... But my mom still needs time"
"you can text him or call him, let him know you still care for him"

Tong hesistate

"I wish the things are simpler, I myself need time, I need to keep my family too, my dad is on his recovery, my mom just accept me as I am now, I want things going step by step. By the way, say to Mew I still love him.."
"Okay"

Tong's phone ring, then Ying makes her way, and take part with Tong

Later evening, Ying comes by Mew'd house, listening to some chinese love songs.

"Mew, I met Tong afternoon, says he still loves you..."

Ying expect Mew to blossom, but instead, Mew keeps quiet, she even sees Mew try to surpress his feeling

"What's up Mew? You looks sad?"

Mew doesn't answer immidiately

"I wish Tong himself would say it to my face... Text message is not that hard"

Ying can't argue with Mew, she also thinks that should be appropriate. 

"Mew... don't be sad, Tong seems to have his own burden wyh his family, he looks like taking a huge responsibility, like taking hus dad's role..."

Ying tries milden Mew's pain.

"I'm not making this up, you know..., the fact I saw him makes me able to say this"

"Ying, thank you for such a good friend to me, I would be completely lonely without you sticking around like bee to honey"

Mew tries to cheer up. Ying laughed.

At other side, Tong made a huge desicion by sacrificing his love for Mew, for the sake of his family. After The advent of June eventhough only for brief time, has enabled Korn to heal and slowly walk out of his depression. Tong distance himself from his greatest love for his mother not to give anymore burden, eventhough his mom too, tries to accept Tong's sexual orientation step by step. With this Tong hope that he can cure his family and bring back to the wonderfull time

He take a great risk by letting Mew hear nothing from him, think that Mew would understand his reason, love needs time and he needs his family to recover first in order to walk out with full freedom with Mew. There are many days Tong wishes he can text messaging or give Mew a call, even he is so close to dial Mew's number,  ending up by pushing the "end" botton. From his heart he want to search for Mew so bad and give him the long yearned hug. Almost every night he imagine himself going to Mew's house and to find Mew might be waiting for him.

He still not very sure whether his mom would now let him go for his love or not, there is no visible sign of her accepting his sexual orientation. She hasn't talk with him either, concentrating to become the pillar of the family like before, although she has milden her ways a bit. 

When he walks at Siam Square, his memory of the first time Mew found him comes back, stands there for a while, silently hoping Mew would be there, looking around, hope to see even his band member who would bring him back to Mew. As time goes, he realized he has stood there long enough and yet he sees none of them. 
Other days, he stop by the river, sit there picturing Mew were at his side. He was even so close to Mew's house, but his courage dropped to go further.

As great Mew's love for Tong, Mew also feels the same way, both of them are longing for each other, but also too afraid to manifest his love

16.04.12

One day, he pass his way with the poster of the raising August Band performing at one of the mall. He stand still, his eyes keep staring at the poster, this time with the photos of the band member since the band has gain more popularity after full featured album has been released. His eyes are lock to the picture of Mew, his heart aches from his longing for him. His mind wandering to the past times, his first meeting with Mew with his band member, his first visit, his first kiss ever... Tong tries to control his tears, as all those memories still warm inside his mind. It is difficult for him to move away from the poster, but he doesn't want to looks odd so he makes his way with his mind still attached to the poster. 

Chapter 3- done

His band member tries their best to keep Mew happy. By now they see that Mew this time tries to be professional with the works, avoiding those absent like what he did in the past, tries to put boundary between privat matter and work's duty. The producer has spoken with him about August band becoming more popular, successful concert performaces and singles, producing next studio album, obligation to be strictly in rehearsal, since the band has gain more popularity and the next album is now highly anticipated. Although Mew by now can discern between his mood and band's obligation, his struggle to keep his sadness not to get out is still visible.

One day during the recording session, the producer mentioned his dissatisfaction with one particular song which needs him to express his feeling, saying that Mew is emotionally too remote for the song. Aex sees how Mew struggles to get the things right, putting his feeling to that song. Only after Mew's hard detemination, he finally nails the song, with his mood even got worse.

Aex has gained better access to Mew since Aex attemps to get more closer to him, though it's not always easy for Aex to gain access to talk with Mew. But recent times, Mew has been opened up bit by bit towards Aex.

"Mew, are you sad?"

Ask Aex after the session, as they're hanging out outside

"I ... I miss Tong lately...haven't seen him at all"
"You mean... He never contact you?"

Ask Aex surprised. Mew shake his head slowly with a hint of sadness. He is now a bit open to Aex, seeing Aex genuine quality as a true good friends. Aex knowledge about Mew's gay identity make him now also makes Mew become more open to him.

"Why don't you call him then?"

Mew doesn't answer that question, he is already sunken deep in his mind, his sadness.

"Mew, you still have us, and me as your pal...don't forget us"

Mew look into Aex eye and smiles

"Thanks Aex...you're such a good friend"

With Aex has been witnessing Mew's long suffering, he starts to see Mew from different angle. He somehow want to give what Mew desires, he wants Mew to be happy. He is not sure yet how to compete against Tong, but his deep feeling for Mew can't be disguised for longer. With Mew become more open to him makes his way smooth to express his feeling.

"Mew, is it only Tong which inside your heart?"
"I love him since we were children, he was the first to accept me as I am, as other scolded me"
"Don't you see, the time has passed, now you have us, August band, we're also fine with your identity, long before we know your identity..."

Both keep the silence for a while

"Mew, there's also one thing I want to say"
"What is it Aex?"

Aex hesitate

"I have seen you suffering for him. Do you see here, what if there's a person want to give you happiness? Not far from you..."

Mew at first doesn't get what Aex intend to say

"It will be difficult for me to divert my heart to others, Aex..."
"But if he keep his distance, will you always wait for him?"
"I don't know, Aex, that is my burden i have been carrying around since christmas three years ago"
"Let me carry your burden, Mew, I will give you happiness, I will always try hard to make you happy. Let me fill your heart, Mew"

Aex, wait anxiously, while Mew, a bit surprised, but tries to hide it

"Aex, I do thank you for your heart, I'm afraid, I will be always waiting for him. You're my best friend, I don't want to hurt your feeling, I want to keep our friendship like this"
"Mew, it symphatize me to see you suffers so long just for him. I wish I could be the one you hope, and I promise, I will give you all the happiness you never had"

Mew looks into Aex. He never sees Aex behave this way. He feels strange, all these years he has been seeing Aex as the joy bringer, the one who always find ways to entertrain, but now, he sees all Aex's tenderness, almost like another new person Mew just know. For a brief moment Mew gets mesmerized, but he still doesn't feels any sparks for Aex. He is sad to turn Aex down, but he doesn't want to give Aex false hope.

"Sorry, Aex, I can't give you empty hope, I still love Tong, eventhough he makes me sad, I'm sorry, Aex"
"Let me wait for you to be ready for me someday. I will wait for you, Mew"
"You're my best friend, Aex, I don't want to hurt you"
"I'm strong, Mew, I can wait for you, I'll do everything to deserve your heart"

Mew gets sad, he knows, it will be impossible for him to give Aex his heart, yet he doesn't want to turn him down.

One evening, Ying drop by and for his unusual manner, this time it is Mew who starts the conversation

"Ying, is it wrong if I love someone else?"

Ying is a bit surprised, but not about the question, but the initiative Mew take to starts the talk.

"It is ok, Mew... You mean...Aex?"

Mew doesn't answer directly, but show the gesture that the answer is yes

"If I see Tong has neither call nor text you, in a sense you're free to take other. Has Tong explicitly ask you to wait for him?"

Mew take a while to answer

"He just said, he can't be my boyfriend, but still he loves me"

Ying hesistate to answer. This confession is the first te to be spoken out from him 

"It is not so simple with you and Tong, both of you love each other, but what can I say if Tong himself is not ready to be your boyfriend... You can let other love you in this context... If i'm not wrong"
"Would I hurt Tong then, if I'm others boyfriend?"
"Sure I think...but again...why didn't Tong go for you now then...? Mew... I don't say you should forget Tong right now... but it hurts me to see you waiting and suffering for Tong...and there's no clear status between you...that's what I mean... "
"Thanks Ying, even that is very hard for me to take other. I still love Tong...but I need someone here by myside right here right now..."

Ying doesn't reply quick, still wandering in her thought.

"Should I talk with Tong then?"
"Don't ... I want him to want to go for me... If not, I better be alone...."

Eventhough Mew has spend times to think about Aex, he still not yet ready to take him as Tong's replacement. Yet Aex doesn't give up on Mew, eventhough he knows he is many times at wrong timing at Mew's house, he still sticks around with Mew, cheering him up and pull Mew from his darkest hour, though Mew doesn't him appraisal for all those directly, Aex does it all, hoping someday he might win Mew's heart.

One early evening, Aex is waiting at the front of Mew's house, from the window, Ying sees Aex. Ying greets Aex and comes down to give him sone company. She also sees the implicit signs of Aex to be in love at Mew, and she knows exactly how difficult Mew to open his heart for Aex.

"Aex, are you sure what are you doing?"

Ask Ying, when both of them are waiting for Mew to get home.

"I will always try to win his heart. I want to give him what Tong fails to do...."
"Fails to do...we both know that only Tong can make Mew happy, and all the time I see it is Tong Mew longing for..

Ying hesistate...

... I saw and talked with Tong, it seems Tong is also longing for Mew, but he talks about his family..." 

"What I know, I want to fill in the void Tong left on Mew"
"I hope you're ready if Mew someday decide for Tong, you can't compete against Tong"

Aex hesistate... 

"I just hope Mew can see..."

Just as Aex about to complete his statement, Mew is nearing the house and they then join for light supper.

One morning Mew received text from Aex that he will not be joining for rehearsal,for he has cought fever and he is alone at home, while his parents are outside the town.

Mew then tell the rest of the band to cancell the rehearsal, or at least to wrap 1 track and together visiting Aex.

Later after the take, they are going shopping for foods and some medicine, without waisting much time heading Aex home. 

Indeed, Aex is alone, opening the house door by himself. Aex's eye sparks, more to see the band's member and specially Mew. The bands member stayed untill dinner, joking around, there were a lot of snacks and they keep the atmosphere light. At about evening after they have the dinner, they are back home, then Mew take initiative to stay overnight by Aex's to watch over him.

"Mew, thanks for your care, staying and taking your time to be with me"

Mew smiles

"It's nothing Aex, you have helped me a lot, especially when I drop my mood and it's my time to take care of you now"

Mew is surprise to see Aex's eyes become moist and get red.

"Aex, what's up? Why you're weeping?"

Aex doesn't answer Mew right away, keep staring at him with eyes getting more tears

"It's the first time you do something to me, It's the most beautiful things ever done to me, even only small things, it means so much more to me since it is you, who I still hope for"

Mew can't hold his emotion, replies

"How can I be so blind to dismiss all your goodness to me... It's the least I can do and I..."

Aex's eye are lock at Mew's

"... I think you have win my heart, you have filled the void inside me with your presence. I will be sticking around with you now... Since I will need you..."

For Aex, it is the most beautiful words comes from Mew. He can't hold his tears... From overjoy...

"Don't cry Aex, I'm here to wipe your tears"

At the same time he swipe his finger over Aex tears so tenderly. Aex can't do anything else but sobbing. Mew got himself crying together with him for that moment. For long time, Aex will always remember this moment. They are holding their hands, afraid to let loose, they want to keep this moment forever...

"Aex... Have you ehmmm... Take bath? You smells..."

Aex is caught by surprise to have that question after such a beautifull and tender moment they just had. Aex begin to laugh, followed by Mew. 

"Let me assisst you, I'll prepare the warm water" 

said Mew going to the kitchen.

After about 13 minutes, Mew comes back with a bucket with warm water, Aex then tells him where the towels are.

Mew didn't expect to see Aex perfect built. All this years he only see Aex prankster, humor, not this. Slowly Mew helps Aex to wash his body.

"Thanks Mew, you are the first of my good friends to help me washing.

Mew slowly see the persistence on Aex to win his heart, sacrifice so much for him, he would be blind to dismiss all of them. Aex is by far not Tong, but he is always there for him, Aex does all this without complaining, eventhough Mew has told him always, that he still has Tong in his heart, doesn't discourage him to still hold unto his hope. 

Mew has opened his mind that it has been Aex who has filled his heart silently, who has been with him in all these dark hours, where he lock himself, it has been Aex who knock's the door of Mew's heart, patiently waiting for the door on one fine day to be opened for him. He still can't look how Aex will be his heart protector, but now he won't dismiss the thought by now. Slowly Mew beginning to accept Aex to be his live partner for the future. So, the longing for Tong was replaced with Aex.

absolutely magnificent

When will be the release of chapter 4? Reading this fills the longing for a tlos 2.Great sequel... Keep it up.

Chapter 4.  Done

For now Aex is Mew's protector, soul mate, partner and Aex tries with all his might to make Mew happy, to fill Mew's heart with his love. Up to certain degree Mew is happy with his new found love. They decide not yet to announce it ti the band and let it flows. They don't share the same living place, but Aex is now more seen in Mew's house together with Ying which adds the joy and cheerfulness to the three of them.

Only one bug is still lingering inside Mew's heart, it's his silent love for Tong. For now Mew still can conceal this from Aex, who is blindedly in love with him, but sometime in the future he sense that this is going to be a painfull conflict. Mew knows exactly that deep in his heart, he still picturing Tong in Aex position, and silently hopes for it. "... If only I had waited a little longer..." , a useless exclaimation by now, but it always echoes in his head especially when he is alone before sleep. He still remembers Tong layed beside him at that fatefull night, still remembers the smells of the pillow from Tong's head after Tong silently take part and went home. Mew still hug that pillow once in a while when he feels the need to have Tong around him, and in all this years each time he holds that pillow, he feels so close to Tong, feels the exact same feeling the first time they were so close to each other, even he still feel loved by Tong, substituted by that pillow. 

But at other side, Aex determination and sacrifices is not easy to overlook, Aex did all this from his heart. For an Aex's character who is always be fun, extrovert and be the band's fire, this change is so great, to see Aex become tender, caring, hoping and almost begging Mew's heart. Often these move Mew's heart into tears. He doesn't expect Aex is going that far for him and gives him abundence of love, which sometimes caughts Mew's breath away.

Months passed, Mew tries to accept in his heart that Aex is now his love. Initially Mew take on Aex merely because of his determination, but then Mew is moved by Aex's sincere love, Aex never demand anything, simply trying to love Mew genuinely no matter Aex know he still hopes for Tong. 

They share their time more together, more often at Mew's house. Aex then go so far as staying overnight after many studio session, from there the band knows their relationship. 

With Aex around, Mew feels quite happy, able to put his hidden love for Tong by side, but whenever alone, the thought of Tong is creeping slowly and silently, waiting for the perfect moment to get its way back to his mind. Mew has actually never stopped loving Tong. But in some way, Mew is showing Tong that his heart is not anymore easy gets pulled and let go like he felt from Tong few years before. He wants to show Tong, that he needs someone to be with him at the present, not far in the uncertain future. As big as his desire to be with Tong at that moment, so is his urge to resist Tong for the sake of Aex.

Time passes, Mew slowly able to view Aex as his love, after so much inner battle, he is then ready to embrace Aex wholeheartedly, to receive Aex love, he then starts to feel the need to be around Aex more often. Mew's body gesture shows, he really needs and loves Aex sincerely

i can't wait for the next.. thanks for this ..

Chapter 5. Done

Mew is halfway between happy and dreaming to be with Aex, who fought so hard for him. He is lying in the bed, daydreaming what to happen between them.

His cell phone rang...  Without thinking he grab the phone...

"Good Nite, sweet dream..."

"Mew....."

Mew is suddenly fully awake 

"....Tong..."

"Thanks for the good nite Mew... That's so sweet from you, how are you?"

"....mmmmmhh not bad... It's been long time..."

"too long for you to wait, Mew."

Mew can't say anything, ...it's already too late...  is what he says in his mind

"it's okay Tong, I understand it" 
Is what comes from his mouth. 

"I would like to meet you, Mew, when do you have time?"

Mew feeks want to decline Tong's offering, but...

"tomorrow I have rehearsal, the day after would be possible"
is what Mew comes up with. 

The whole night long Mew barely sleeps. Too much awake after all these years of waiting and now he feels an empty joy, for he has tied himself to Aex. After his heart, he would run for Tong, but he still knows whom he is with now.

Mew is now confuse, after all this years of loneliness and what he had to going through just to accept Aex, now to see his prime love. He is dying to see Tong after all these years, but also afraid for the conflict that may arouse after he sees Tong

His rehearsal day the next day is not so smooth, Mew is caught in his imagination, picturing his next day with Tong. 

"Mew, are you alright?"
"Sort of... I'll tell you after the rehearsal"
"ok, can you concentrate for now, the producer want a different text for the chorus"

Mew tries to get all his concentration, and concerned about Aex reaction upon him about to see Tong.

Some hours later the day's task was done, Aex ask Mew what has made Mew not in himself today.

"Tong called yesterday night, want to see me... Tomorrow"

Aex don't say a word. A splash of jealous going across Aex's mind, but not great enough to stop Mew. Aex became stiff, thinking he might losing Mew.

"Don't worry Aex, I'm still yours, and will stay that way. I know how to face Tong now..." 

Mew looks directly into Aex's eyes, reassure Aex will not losing him.

"Thanx Mew, I love you, it would be hard to lose you"

"Mew, can I ask you one question?"

Mew still looking at Aex

"Do you still love Tong?"

Mew takes an unusual long time to answer

"Whatever I feel about Tong, I do have our love, I will..."
"Mew, it's nice said... But you miss my question..."

Aex looks a bit more sad, for he knows the answer, which is he still does. 

"Aex... Don't be jealous with Tong, I will put myself not so easy to take, I know how you fought for my heart... I don't bargain my heart with... "
"It's okay Mew, go see him tomorrow, I will keep my distance..."
"Aex, i will not put your love at the second raw, I'm not that cruel..."

Aex is a bit enlightend to hear Mew's reassurance. Mew comes closer and hug Aex tightly, giving reassurance his heart is there with Aex to stay.

"I trust you, Mew"
Whisper Aex to his ear.

The next day, Mew make his way to Siam Square, with his heart pounding, and a bit exhausted for two nights he didn't sleep tight.

Mew wait for Tong as he reach the place, trying to be calm, looking around with his eye searching for Tong. 

"I found you"

Mew was bit surprised to be tapped from the back. Finally, he see someone he has been longing for all these years. 

They stare at each other, not able to say anything, Mew has his deeply hidden wish comes true, to see his other half, and Tong tries to keep himself calm since it's the first time for more than three years

"So long haven't see you Tong, where have you been?"
"I... Have been nowhere but home, caring for my family"
"Can we sit somewhere?"

Ask Mew

They found a cozy place to talk

"I'm sorry to have let you be alone for too long"

Mew doesn't know how to respon, his joy and his anger towards Tong are equally high, New seems to be too uptight at that moment. Instead, Mew keeps himself silent

"Mew, are you angry with me?"
"It's not about my loneliness, I have been lonely for too long, I barely notice it by now... It is about you love me, and let me wait in uncertainty..."

Tong know, although Mew say it in a mild language, it contains deep disappointment. 

"I'm not blaming at you, Tong. I don't know what happen with you all these years"

Mew try to diplomatize, not to pinpointing at Tong all too sharp.

"I have to take care my mom and dad, it's still uncertain if for mom accept me as I am, dad makes his way out of his depression. I just reallize that I take too much burden for a son in family. I tried to be pillar for the sake of my family.... You know... It's tiring for me, I wanted to call you , but as long as I have to be a pillar, I'm not free to call and to be with you..."

Mew doesn't know how to respond, in his answer, his long waiting seems plausible, making sense for not able to reach for him that easy, but now, Mew has give his heart to someone else, what makes him feels guilty...

"I'm not here to judge you, Tong, but the things now are not as easy as once before"

"I understand that, I hope I can still have an access to you"

Mew smile at Tong, his courage to tell his relationship drop, for He is still bedazzled with Tong's charm, even more... With his new gained maturity Tong has more stronger impact on Mew. Mew's imagination is taking him too high by now.

"How was it Mew?"
Aex inquiry is unstoppable. 

"It was fine, he talks about his family and his burden, makes his reason for his absent become convincing."

"Does he know about our relationship?"

"Not yet, at right time when he tries to talk about it I'll say it"

That doesn't leave Aex at ease, he sense his rivalry with Tong over Mew's precious heart.

"Aex, I know you must be jealous now, but despite me being mild with Tong that doesn't means he can get my heart as easy, three years of his absent is not easy to dismiss. I know how to put things at the right place, don't worry"

Other times, With Ying Mew can pour out all his anguish and his dilema

"If after me, i would go for Aex, Tong can't as easy reclaim your heart, although he can't be blame for letting you wait too long. But Mew, who is now your true love?..."

Mew doensn't have the courage to answer that question

"It's Tong, isn't it?"

Silence over them

"How should you take the responsibility over Aex heart? Why did you say yes if you still have Tong in your heart?"

"I don't want to disappoint Aex, Aex keeps saying he love me. He knows that I have Tong and he insist on waiting for me to be ready for him... Afterall I thought Tong might have given up on me..."

Silence over them

"Ying, what should I do now?"
"I would you listen to your heart, stands on your true love"
"I promised Aex my heart already, is it wrong?"
"Only you can answer that. Go for Aex...you have promised him, don't break his heart..."

Ying adds

"You'll lose your dream if yo do this. Are you ready?"

Mew can't response to Ying's words. At this time, Mew really feels torn spart between two boys

Meanwhile, Tong this time tries to stich back his relationship with Mew without knowing Mew has someone at his side. He text Mew and calls Mew to meet him, but Mew doesn't give in. He remains faithfull to Aex. While Mew is with Aex, he seems to be a bit less happy, but yet his desire to let him be available for Tong remains impossible. Aex have not yet known Mew loves him for his hard determination, not pure love as Mew feels towards Tong. What burdens him is that Tong hasn't know all of these, and Mew still let Tong alone assume Mew is still available for him. Mew hasn't even tell him his burden of waiting for him so long and the feeling of missing him, getting astray from his hope towards Tong.

Mew is uncertain what to do next.

Oh my! Next next! I cant wait!Haha.

Chapter 6 & 7. Done

"Tong, I understand your absence is something burdens you too, but now...."

Tong didn't reply, staring at Mew

"... There is someone who has filled that hole..."

Tong gets so surprised but managed to keep himself cool although his heart is now on full heat

"What do you mean? Someone in your ...."
"Yes, while you were away, I got myself so low, he keeps his wish although he knows I still love you. But now, I have given my heart to him"

Tong tries to keep his voice calm, but his voice indeed trembles a bit

"Who is he?"

Mew doesn't answer immidiately

"It's my best friend, Aex"

There are no words to describe Tong's condition at that moment, he feels terrible, he feels his passions for Mew means nothing now, like something is taken away from his heart, and now his heart has a hole. He doesn't expect Mew would give his heart to someone else, he thinks all the time Mew is him to own only.  

"I'm sorry, Tong, I do love you, but Aex has been here with me all the time."

It seems like a wrong excuse from Mew

Tong can't think straight now, he is picturing Mew hands in hands with Aex... His heart chilled.

Not long after that, Mew joined the studio session for the upcoming album, hinted to Aex that he has talked to Tong. Aex is relieved, while inside Mew, he is still picturing Tong's face at the confession, especially when he saw Tong went his way. Somehow he feels guilty for him. 

The insidence doesn't stop there with Tong to accept Mew's new status, but more, Tong is not to stay cool with this, he is now determined to reclaim Mew.

Back at home, Ying as always stop by to give Mew a bit of human warmth

"Ying, I had a difficult talk with Tong"

That statement instantly grab Ying's attention.

"Have you then explain your status?"
"Yes...."
"But what?"
"Tong .... It's him i worry about this time..."
"I can guess... He will not stop chasing you"
"I'm worried about Aex too, how he will handle this"

Not long after, Aex arrive at Mew's, Ying about to go home to give them privacy

"Stick around Ying...you're good friend of us... Hey... Let's join the snacks...

The situation lighten up a bit, they have a fun small talk. For a moment Mew push his anguish by side and tries to get comfortable with Aex, while Ying lightens up the house.

Chapter 7

For the following weeks Tong keeps texting Mew. At first Aex doesn't notice, but still able to notice Mew's cell phone beeping more often. Aex still hold his inquiry, although he could guess it's Tong who text Mew. Mew tries not to get too distracted from Tong's message, but to dismiss them is also too cruel. He has no choice to reply and make Tong see that he now is Aex's partner, and will not be available. 

One day, Mew get a text from Tong, wants to meet with Mew. After many rejects and persistency of Tong, Mew agree to meet him. For that, Mew wake Aex's jealousy, 

"Mew, it's ok to see Tong once a while, I hope you can put yourself properly... I..."
Aex lost his words, so many words jammed in his mind, clouded by his jealousy.

"Aex, I'm yours now, I will see Tong to show him my position, not to tie back some old story. I can't deny my feelings for Tong, but surely I love you Aex..."

Mew stare at Aex's eye, approach him, put his arm on his shoulder, hug him. As Aex feels he doesn't want to lose him, he holds Mew so tight, for the fear of losing Mew someday...

"Mew, I will sacrifice anything to deserve your love, I hope..."

"Aex, I am yours now... I'm not available to Tong..."

The next day, Mew then at designated time meets Tong, this time Mew has a firm determination to stand on Aex behalf.

Tong is already waiting for Mew. Instead of beautiful innocent smile like in the past, both of them show an uneasy smile. 

"Mew, please forgive me to have you waited so long, I do only love you, no one else. Is there any chance for me to get back to you?"

"Tong, it's hard to say yes for me. I have waited too long, your absence has lead me to take on Aex"

"Why him? Am I not good enough for you now?"

Mew wait a brief moment

"You have been always my greatest love, you have protected me since school year, but since Christmas I practically had to guard my love for you all alone..."

"Mew, I had to take care of my family, mom still needs me, dad is recovering, I need time to let our love bloom at the right time..."

"Tong, you will always be the love of my life, but I have given
My heart to Aex, after what he has done and how much he hoped for me...."

Mew can't go on, seeing Tong's eye gets moist. 

"Mew, I have waited also for our turn, why now this?"
Tong's voice tremble

"I'm sorry, Tong, I'm now Aex's partner..."

Both of them are caught in strangled conversation, yet in Mew's heart there's s little spark for Tong. With years passed, Tong has beem transformed into a mature one, who now able more to envelope Mew.

Mew tries hard to resist Tong's charm. He has to think hard about what Aex has suffered to get his love. Their conversation ends up without any resolution, Tong seems now won't give up, while Mew tries himself to stick with Aex love. 

The conversation admitttedly has shaken Mew's heart a bit and with Tong insisting on texting Mew  bring the relationship in crisis. For a while Mew gets undecided between Tong and Aex, waving his heart between Aex and Tong. Mew even thinks to leave Aex for the sake of Tong, if not the memories of how Aex cried when he assisst Aex as he was ill.

Aex become alert as Mew begins to get more often sunken in his own dream, instead converse with him. Aex initially doesn't want to interfere, but step by step Mew is getting drifted apart, Aex begins to think about losing Mew prematurely.

Indeed, Mew still has his love for Tong, while his love for Aex is based on compassion. Worst to happen, Aex accidently read Mew's message, and persuade Mew to be open. Mew then given no option but to say no to Tong, something he uttmost unwilling to do. But now he hasno other options left

I hope i have creared enough tension guyz..., it'll get worse... Wait until chapter 8,9, 10, where the zenith if the problems building up. Thanx for have like the story

Wow! You really made a great plot bro!? Thumbs up, i enjoyed reading, imagining the characters while readimg this gives me gossies.. Hehe.. I can't wait for the chapter 8,9,10

Chapte 8 - 9. Done


Tong didn't expect to see now Mew is happy with someone but him. He still can't believe to hear Mew said those words. He never has that image in his mind that Mew could belonging to somebody else, but now Tong has to see much to his bitterness, how he has lost Mew as Mew now become Aex's own. Tong has fought so long for his love for Mew to be accepted by his mom, until her yes become a genuine yes, but now Mew let him deserted.

Every day he lock himself in his room, taking pity on him, his thought wandering far where the things were a lot simpler, as boys where they used to be together, where he used to protect young Mew, where he got a shoulder to cry on, now the picture is vanished. 

His heart gain more an more pain, much to be added that he now feels being left alone. He doesn't shed tears, for he had wandered too far in the boulevard of the broken dreams, as much as he gets lost there, he trap himself in a world where he at one side tries hard to keep his heart and hope alive, but at other end kills it for he feels he has nothing more to lose since he had lost Mew to someone else. 

Slowly Tong goes the wrong way, trying anything just to hide his wounded heart. He pass his way with old friends from his schoolyear, hanging around killing time, beginning drinking, smoke, then... The drugs.

Only drugs keeps his inner pain away, where he can touch nirvana, halucinating to have Mew as his own, the other Mew, which he perceive it as real. Althogh his soujurn with the drugs has not taken long time yet, but his halucination has started long time ago, where Mew finally text him: "please let me alone, I have someone now. Hope you understand". That fatefull text seeps through Tong's soul, creating a deep void in his heart, quickly and desparately he tries to fills that void with anything available at his reach. To his unfortune, it is drugs, introduced by his friends, who quickly fills his heart, creating a new platform to correct all his wrong, and begin everything new. This beautiful fatamorgana, become Tong's only refuge from the harsh real world. 

The first time he feels like seeing nirvana, for a brief time he forget his broken heart. He only sees bright light and feels he was free from his sorrow. He is searching here and there, but there is Only white fast land and he's floating over it. 

The next time he goes fly, he is determind to find Mew, instead of seing Mew, he find Mew as a young boy, sitting at the river bank. As he tries to talk to him, young Mew suddenly smiled and run away from him, cheerfully laughing

By the next time he began to use the drugs to picturing what he reaaly needs, Mew. In his daydream, nurtured by the drugs, he then find Mew, completely available for him alone and not for others. There then in his nirvana, he dates with him, in a world totally for his own, he has Mew for him only, undisturbed by Aex, nor by anything that would cloud their relationship. Everytime he flies, he is hallucinating Mew lays beside him, hug him, need him, he binds Mew to him, love him, be close to him and more, he is united with Mew. Tong gets more drifted apart from the reality, with the help from drugs he fulfills his dream, not realizing what is taken away from him slowly. The drugs only amplifies his daydream and to get away from those drugs means to lose his "own" Mew. For now he become obsessed with the drugs, his only gate to date with "his" Mew. 

"TONG.....what happen with you ???"
His dad found him lying unconscious, even shaking his body didn't make him comes back. 

His dad see the things around Tong, and step back as he see some needles lying on the floor. He call for mom and as fast as possible they bring it to nearby hospital. 

Few days later they got the dark truth, Tong's blood contains dosis of prohibited drugs. The doctor then arrange the transfer to rehab centre which is arranged within weeks to come. Good for them Tong just escape the justice process, also with the help of the doctor's prescription the transfer get done smoothly.

"Tong, please understand our decision to put you here, we're not punishing you, we want you to get better, we want you to have a good life, good future..."
Sunee tries to persuade Tong since he show his resistence, tries to go home.

Tong keeps himself absent minded, with a hollow look in his eyes he and his mind is wandering somewhere, where he suggest himself together with Mew.

"Tong.... Tong... Are you listening...?"
Sunee become desperade. Tong slowly look up into Sunee's eye. She looks into his son's eye, a vacant look from Tong starrig at her.

"good life for who..?"

Sunee lost her words. After a while, Sunee doesn't get any reply from Tong, she decide to leave him in the rehab. She walks away with the doctor accompany her.

"Doctor, concellour, please help my Tong. He's my only child now. I don't want to lose him."

"Don't worry Mrs. Sunee and Mr. Korn, we'll help him as good as we can" 
Answer the councellor.

Tong was escorted to his room, and after the nurses left him alone, he become excrutiatingly alone. For weeks to come his loneliness cause him to lock himself tightly, and his alienation towards the concellour makes him even more locked up. He is waving around between the need to speak with someone to unload all his burden and to share his inner pains and wounds and his reluctance towards foreign people who tries to acces his privacy. It would take him long journey of pain and sorrow to enable him finally to open up and to cry for help.

The first days is very painfull for Tong to get rid of those needles, each time his body shows bad reaction upon the absence of those substances, even as he then scream, calling out Mew, many times when his body trembles so badly demand the stuff. 

The councellor help him to get to the matter, while the first weeks Tong doesn't show much cooperation clouded by his halutination and his lost of "his" Mew.

While being alone in his room, Tong often pictures Mew and a strong self suggestion that Mew is punishing him, leave hin, let him down as a revenge, while he is picturing a different Mew somewhere out there inside his mind, ... His nirvana...

Tong by now has been taken away from drugs, the rehabs process has progressed. But what he fears now become true, for the more he take his sense to the real world, the more he feels the loss. Now, every day he become more conscious about Mew belongs to someone else. Many moments Tong become force to tears, sometimes in the midst of sobbing, he cries out Mew's name, hoping Mew would coming and get him out if these misery.

The detoxification process is not that difficult, for his body hasn't been exposed too long to the drugs, but his psycological realm suffers more bad damage. Beginning with his burden to be the pillars of his family which caused him to have lost Mew, Mew become Aex partner, Mew's rejection. All these stirs his mind. 
He shows his introverted character with the councellor at first, much to his irritation to open up his pain to someone he just meet. Many session with the concellour end up without anything usable. 

"Mrs. Sunee, I have tried to talk with him, but he seems to lock up so tight. The result of detox proces is quite promising, for he seems to be exposed for not too long. But the cause for him to take on the drugs has prooven to be a difficult task for me to uncrack. I can only guess, his problem might have started long before his drugs issues."

Sunee is listening concernly, then she starts to reply

"Actually, years ago, I discovered him with his friend... together and I didn't approve it"

The councellor is now getting a bit light to the matter

"He was close, at least what I saw that day, to have a love... with another guy... so I talked to his friend... and so it began..."

"Mrs. Sunee, how Tong react at your precaution?"

"For a while he lost himself with his friends, but eventually he showed me that his feeling towards his friend is quite genuine. I tried to show my acceptance...but after that his dad is slowly recovering from his alcohol addiction, and still not ready to leads the family. I'm fine with it, but Tong then shows his strange attitude after christmas three years ago"
Sunee go forth with the story.

Sunee then talks about the lost of the older sister, father getting depressed and went alcoholic... She tries to give clues to the doctor for the hope, the concellour will be able to approach Tong.

But for now, his family support doesn't prove to be much of help as the concellor suggested at the beginning. Tong feels his dad has more favor to his missing sister, while seems to have neglected Tong's presence though these years, worse, to hear Tong say those words is too much for the recovering father. Sunee tries to gether senses through Tong's suffer, only after many session with concellour she then knows what really happens.

One event Sunee then for real see that Tong's love for Mew once she prohibited, is the only thing Tong needs, and that needs has carried him far away beyond her reach. She and Korn arrived one morning to visit Tong, thinks wants to give some food, snaks, vitamin, etc to show her care.

"Mr. Korn, Mrs. Sunee, terribly sorry.... I'm not prohibiting you from seeing Tong... It's just...."

Sunee and Korn become agitated

"What happen to my son?"

The doctor seems to have lost the words

"Tong is not in optimum condition right now..."

"What happen doctor? What happen?"
Sunee is close to tears.

"Tong is in detox process, and it is natural that his psychological realm gets shifted, for..."

"Please tell me .... What is happening?"

After so much pressure, the doctor finally give in

"Tong is losing his world because there is no more drugs, and right now he is not able to discern between his sense of reality and his dream. If you see him now, I'm deeply concern of your reaction. We do not show this state publically"

"I'm his mother, let me see him"

"If you insist, but please be strong for whatever you may see"

It's the doctor's turn to get tensed.

"Follow me then"

They follow the doctor through several lane, and from the distance they can hear faint scream from one of the room. As they walk they hear the scream become more louder and clearer. Sunee can barely hold her tears and her body trembles....

"Meeeewwwww..... Don't leave meeeee.... I need youuuu.... Meeeewwww....." ( Tong screams and sobbing)

"Please calm down Tong, you will soon see him..."

"Noooo... Don't take away my Mew from meeeee... You cruel people.... Have mercy on meeee... Meeeeeewwwww Meeeewwww, where are yooouuuu? Don't leave me pleeeaasssseeee.....aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! (loud sobbing and his scream are heard one after another, clearly audible for the three of them, eventually his cry becone fainter and more quiet)

It is too much for Sunee to bear, she breaks down on the floor

"Tong... Please forgive me... Please forgive me..." 
Sunee cry so loud, makes her words sounds terribly bitter for Korn to hear. Korn can't help himself but weeping together with Sunee. Korn for the first time get the sense of what he's been missing. Now, with his attemps to quit alcohol halfway to succes, he is now more determind to be a real father. It hurts him to see his family breaks down this way.

It takes times for Tong to get his senses of what is happening to him, and more time to be comfortable with the concellor, especially he who tries to get his privacy exposed. First sessions are very unbearable, thinking a stranger want to know his life. After holding his excrutiating psychological pain and so long he kept his love for Mew all alone, he then finally take it all out, since he has become closer to the concellour. Now the concellour is able to get a full picture of Tongs psychological journey.

At the session with the parents, Sunee and Korn are exposed with the whole truth, Sunee, who has known this issue before is not taken by surprise, but for Korn, it's a painfull wake up call, of what he has been missing through all these years. Korn himself has tried hard to be cured from his alcohol addiction, is more and more in charge at home, slowly taken back his role as father and chief commander of his family. His own life's lesson, much to Tong's fortune, has enabled him to accept Tong's sexual orientation. But for Sunee, the next step is not yet certain, what to do. The concellour has hinted her to Mew, Tong's greatest love, and she become chilled with the thought of what she needs to do.

I have prepared chapter 11 & 12 to be THE MOMENT hopefully would be the memorable one. Are there only 2 people reading here? Hehehehe